Cheap Seats

Money to burn

Denver Broncos’ coach Mike Shanahan, on the topic of coaching burnout: “It always seems to me that the guys who have burnout have a lot of money in the bank. I’ve never seen assistant coaches have burnout, have you?”

Facts don’t lie

From Mark Kreidler in the Sacarmento Bee:

John Lennon was working his turf behind second base. This was Aug. 29, 1966. Lennon stepped to the microphone, cleared his throat amid the screaming directed toward the stage.

History does not record whether he was wearing eye-black. The fog was thick; the clam was back in `clammy.’

It was Gothic.

Do you know what John Lennon - poet, philosopher, lyricist, framer of thoughts - said to the world?

“It’s a bit chilly,” the Liverpudlian orated.

The Beatles never played a concert together again.

Alas, nothing can survive wretched Candlestick Park.

Office decorum

Author Roger Kahn likes to tell this story of Early Wynn, the feisty major league pitcher who died last week:

“Early got hit with a line drive one day off the bat of Jose Valdivielso, a .219 lifetime hitter from the Senators. Ball caught him on the chin and he had 16 stitches. He was furious.

“`This is my office,’ Wynn said, `And I don’t like it messed up with blood.’ “For the rest of Valdivielso’s career, as it were, when he faced Wynn, he either got knocked down or beaned. There was to be no more blood in Early Wynn’s office, especially his own.”

Scouting talent

What if four Atlanta Braves players and manager Bobby Cox had taken that other athletic fork in the road?

Certainly, the very thought would have Braves fans waking up in a cold sweat, a nightmare scenario if Chipper Jones, Tom Glavine, John Smoltz, Brian Jordan and Cox had flipped a coin and picked another sport. Glavine was drafted by the Los Angeles Kings in 1984. Cox bypassed the dream of playing football for UCLA or USC. Jones was a stellar football player. Jordan played his final pro football game seven years ago.

Smoltz grew 7 inches as a high-schooler in Michigan and was one day away from entering Michigan State in 1985 to play baseball and basketball.

“It would have been fun trying,” Smoltz told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “I felt I could make a big-time school, but probably not play much - shoot free throws, stuff like that. But I wanted to try.

“Jud Heathcote kids me to this day. He says I was too much of a spaz to play for him.”

You gotta love this guy

Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “What’s up with all these sports writers dogging Khalid El-Amin for sporting love handles? Most sports writers I know would kill to have that body.”

The last word …

“John Wooden is a beacon in a world of flashlights.” - Tommy Hawkins, former Notre Dame All-American and Los Angeles Lakers star