‘Marmots’ Wouldn’T Need Extras

Charles G. Johnson’s proposed titles for set-in-Spokane film noir movies include “The Clock Tower Widow,” “M is for Marmots” and “The Long Bus Ride.”

* Closer every day: That thunder in the distance is the sound of your credit-card bills (the ones with those vacation expenses) approaching.

Of course, not everyone hears thunder. Some people hear the shark-is-coming music from “Jaws.”

* One South Hill reader’s school days recollection: “I was taught by the nuns in the ‘40s and we learned good grammar — or else!”

* Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’: An elderly man sitting near the middle of an STA bus dropped a cantaloupe.

“I think it went under me,” said a woman in the next seat.

“And I think it went under me,” added the passenger two seats away.

The man searched without success.

Finally, a woman up near the front of the bus got down on one knee and retrieved the wayward melon.

* One of life’s good feelings: Recommending someone for a job and having that person turn out to be exactly what the employer needed.

* Everything’s relative: Does reading a Stephen King novel at lunchtime somehow make it easier to face going back to work in the afternoon?

* Fans of the Flying Fortress: Might want to check out that big B-17 mural at Custom Aviation at Felts Field.

* One trio is enough: All you’re doing is confusing people when you refer to Rockford, Fairfield and Tekoa as the Tri-Cities.

* Logging economics: Told that money doesn’t grow on trees, 9-year-old Jeff Duncan had a comeback. “Of course not, Mom,” he said. “Wood grows on trees and you sell the wood and then you get the money.”

* Thinking outside the box: Years ago, Linda Tracy had a box of stuff marked “Ironing.”

It remained unopened through three moves. Finally, she just gave it to Goodwill.

* Billboard material: “Gus Wakes Up and Reads It.”

* Warm-up question (for kids): How often does your mom freak out for no reason?

* Warm-up question (for Bachelor No. 2): Have you ever lived anywhere that felt even more like “Marriedville” than here?

* Today’s Slice question: How many people around here who don’t otherwise care about baseball actively root against the Mariners?