Stupidity… It’S Everywhere
Fair’s fair.
Long before people in other parts of the country got comfortable with the idea of making stupid generalizations about the Northwest, certain smug residents of this beautiful region enjoyed offering brainless generalizations about other parts of the nation.
* Somewhere out there is a baby whose first words will be: “As if.”
* Family milestone: “You asked awhile ago what event would make this summer memorable,” wrote a reader we’ll call Em. “I’d have to say it would be that my husband had his vasectomy the Friday before Father’s Day and (for Father’s Day) the kids and I gave him a bicycle.”
* Processing all the bad news before calling it a day: One reason some people stay late at work is to reduce the likelihood of being blind-sided by a morale-sapping memo first thing in the morning.
* King of Slow Grounders: It takes a certain knack to ALWAYS be the one to make the last out in softball.
* Six syllables: What Inland Northwest place name could substitute for “Winslow, Arizona” in the old Eagles hit, “Take it Easy”?
* Sexual tension at reunions (continued): “Just returned from my 55th high school reunion, and the ol’ S.T. is still alive,” wrote Katie Osborne of Coeur d’Alene.
* If Deborah Daniels’ car played one song over and over like an ice cream truck: She’d want it to be “Second Hand Store,” by Joe Walsh.
* It says here that people have the right to be who they are: But out-of-the-closet homosexuals who make a performance out of disdaining children (you know who you are) probably don’t abet the cause of tolerance and understanding.
Of course, there’s almost nothing worse than the sight of avowed kid-haters (the vast majority of whom are heterosexuals) pretending to be interested in a child because they think it will win them political points.
* Signs of the season: Corine Brown likes those bumper stickers that say “If you can read this - thank a teacher.”
* Safer than yakking on a cell phone: Marilyn Attebery has been known to do the Jerk and the Swim while listening to oldies in her car.
She didn’t mention the Pony, but that’s probably a hard dance to do in a seated position.
* Today’s Slice question: Where were you when you found yourself saying “I can’t believe they get Spokane TV here”?