Cheap Seats
From our file of sports briefs
San Diego defensive tackle Norman Hand wears something unusual under his Chargers shorts.
A pair of Miami Dolphins shorts.
Why?
“It’s just a constant reminder never to go back on the unemployment line,” said Hand, who was cut by the Dolphins in 1997. “Just do what you’re supposed to do. Every time I’m tired and stuff, I raise up my Miami Dolphins shorts and they remind me.”
Condemned to a life of resignation
Columnist Bernie Lincicome, writing in the Chicago Tribune, can see no reason for the Cubs to fire manager Jim Riggleman.
“In a normal world - not the one the Cubs inhabit - winning small is followed by winning bigger,” Lincicome wrote. “This is called progress. Dynasties are devised and fertilized and fans grow jaded by winning.
“The Cubs have circumvented such a curse by leaving only periodic droppings of achievement, little moments that carry a constituency from decade to decade. Each season of relative distinction, consequently, has a shelf life longer than canned meat.
“If the Cubs had not won a wild card (I know it is possible; I have seen the T-shirts), then this year would be measured against the usual and not the exceptional. Not only would it not look so bad, it would look typical.”
Freeloading like an expert
A Nebraska man who posed as NFL players to receive free hotel rooms, meals and limousine rides was arrested Aug. 17 after he tried his scheme one more time in Las Vegas.
Willis Clyde Thomas was charged with two counts of burglary and two counts of defrauding an innkeeper.
Police said Thomas had been posing as Chad Fann, a San Francisco 49ers tight end, and had received complimentary hotel rooms, meals and limousine rides from various Las Vegas hotels and businesses.
Thomas had been the subject of a five-month fraud investigation conducted by NFL security officials, who enlisted police help in catching the impostor.
The NFL suspects Thomas of also using Fann’s name in Reno, Sparks, Lake Tahoe and several other states for the past 1-1/2 years, police said.
Thomas was arrested after he obtained a complimentary room at the Fremont Hotel by posing as Jamain Stephens, a 6-foot-6, 336-pound member of the Cincinnati Bengals.
Thomas is 6-foot-7 and weighs 305 pounds. Fann is 6-foot-3, 252 pounds.
Does this man measure up, or what?
Attention-deficit baseball
Bonehead play of the day on Saturday belonged to F.P. Santangelo of the San Francisco Giants, who was picked off third base by Milwaukee catcher David Nilsson after belting a run-scoring triple in the third inning.
What compounded Santangelo’s error was that there was only one out - and his future Hall of Fame teammate, Barry Bonds, was at the plate.
The last word …
“(Lawrence) Phillips has a rap sheet long enough to print out and use for a first-down marker.”
- Associated Press columnist Jim Litke, commenting on the San Francisco 49ers’ controversial and muchtraveled new running back.