Make Sitters Prove They’Re Pet Worthy

Tue., Aug. 24, 1999

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

It’s not unusual for unpleasantness to arise from misunderstandings about just what is expected of a pet sitter.

That’s because there hasn’t been an easy way to screen those who might be entrusted to take care of your pets while you are away.

Until now.

Presenting the Spokane Pet Sitter Quiz/Application.

Before turning the care of your animals over to a neighbor or co-worker, have that person respond to the following questions. Then you can make an informed decision about whether he or she is up to the task.

1. Can you provide five references?

2. Do you speak cat?

3. Will you be snooping around in drawers and cupboards while in my home?

4. Will you be expecting a gift when I return?

5. Can you explain exactly what you meant by your comment, “You know, there are people who do this sort of thing for a living”?

6. Do you understand that walking a dog requires one’s full concentration?

7. Do you have any idea what turmoil would ensue if you forget that the grilled tuna is a Sundays-only treat?

8. Does your concept of “quality time” allow for lots of petting and being there as a sounding board if one of the animals wants to share a problem?

9. Do you understand what I mean when I say that it’s OK for Boots to love you, just not too much?

10. Why did you roll your eyes when I asked you to have the vet’s phone number written down in six different locations?

11. Have you ever tried to give a cat a pill before?

12. Have you reviewed those materials I gave you on interpreting feline body language?

13. As you contemplate coming over to feed my pets, does the verb “slop” fairly describe your vision of the experience?

14. Are there any circumstances — including a family emergency or a crisis at work — that could interfere with your solemn commitment to brush Fiona each day at 6:30 p.m.?

15. Do you understand that certain nature shows are too graphic for the kittens and that it’s up to you to supervise their TV viewing?

16. Could you let me hear you say, “C’mere sweet baby … kiss, kiss, kiss”?

17. Let’s try that again.

18. Would you consider it too much trouble to answer the phone when I call and hold the receiver up to Spanky’s ear for 15 minutes?

19. Thelma Lou is an indoor cat. So are you OK with the idea that, if you let her get out, I will kill you?

20. Are you willing to take a polygraph test to confirm the veracity of your answers?

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