Cheap Seats

Come get Z souvenirs

Fans at most motor races are besieged by sponsors handing out various items plastered with their logo.

In the last year, Pennzoil distributed 1,402,750 driver autograph cards, 5,945 ear plugs, 269,375 team posters, 35,338 key chains, 45,922 hats, 715,610 oval stickers, 496,280 yellow carrying bags and 516 umbrellas.

Hope you got your share.

Going deep … in your pockets

Former Baltimore Orioles pitcher Juan Guzman has two RBI singles in his first 11 at-bats for the Cincinnati Reds and has cleared the fence several times in batting practice, which apparently has convinced him he’s a natural-born hitter.

The other day, he bet teammate Dennis Reyes $1,000 that he’ll hit a real home run before the end of the ‘99 season.

“I believe that when you work, you get better, and I am working hard,” Guzman told the Cincinnati Post. “When you believe, you will succeed.”

Reyes apparently doesn’t believe.

“It’s easy money,” he said. “I’ve already told Juan that I don’t accept checks. I want to be paid in $100 bills.”

Fuming in Jamaica

The suspension of Jamaican track star Merlene Ottey after traces of a steroid were found in her system did not sit well in her native country.

“It makes me want to cry that they would want to tear down this wonderful woman, this perfect picture of an African,” Howard Clarke told the Associated Press.

“They” would be Americans, British and “most everyone in the world who think of Jamaicans as drug dealers and criminals,” and so have “done this as an act of revenge.”

Just a nebbish out of water

Swimmer Amy Van Dyken, who won four gold medals at the Atlanta Olympics, is mounting a comeback aimed at making the team for the 2000 Summer Olympics in Sydney, Australia.

Asked by Elliott Almond of the San Jose Mercury News if she felt strange about returning to training, Van Dyken said, “Only because I forgot my locker combination and forgot where I put my equipment bag. Once I got into the pool, I felt as if I hadn’t even left.”

Unprepared, but cheerful

When the St. Louis Rams got off to a slow start last year, players blamed it on coach Dick Vermeil’s intense summer practice, claiming he wore them out.

This year Vermeil eased up, shortening workouts and cutting back on scrimmages.

“One of our objectives was to leave training camp with some enthusiasm and excitement about going back to St. Louis,” Vermeil said.

“Last year, I drained the enthusiasm out of them.”

What would Vince Lombardi have thought about that?

The last word …

“My arm is so heavy, I feel like I can touch my ankles without bending over.”

- Cincinnati relief pitcher Scott Sullivan, who’s had a lot of work recently.