An Unasked Task Can Light The Fire

The romantic temperature of American males is not exactly soaring. Indeed, the vast majority of men in a recent survey ranked their romantic inclination as anywhere from mild to downright chilly.

On a scale of one to 10, fewer than one in five men (just 19 percent) ranked themselves as a seven or higher, according to the survey by the Society of American Florists.

And for once, America’s women concurred completely. Just 19 percent of the women surveyed rated their boyfriend, husband or significant other as a seven or higher. The survey was timed for Valentine’s Day, that ritual of romance arriving this Sunday whether you’re ready or not.

Yet almost two-thirds (65 percent) of Americans, or at least those with Internet access, believe in love at first sight, according to an online survey conducted by American Dialogue. Just one in four considers instant love a Hollywood fantasy.

In my own research a few years ago, I discovered that the average person falls in love six times - starting with puppy love at age 13 and the first serious relationship four years later. For one in four of us, the love quotient is higher. These romantics fall in love at least 10 times in their lives.

Women fall in love more often than men, and end 70 percent of relationships. Over the course of a lifetime, one in eight Americans has at least three unrequited loves.

Though our passion may not be engaged, our vocal cords certainly are. Four out of 10 of us use the magic words “love you” to sign off personal phone calls.

In all but business letters, “love” has replaced “sincerely” as the standard ending, more ubiquitous than the happy face in its heyday. And 45 percent of us tell our significant other how much we love them more than once a day.

While proposing on bended knee may have been de rigueur in olden days, now fewer than one in five people acknowledges proposing - or being proposed to - while kneeling. What’s more, 6 percent of marriage proposals today are made over the phone.

Only 4 percent of Americans say they’ve sought parental approval for their mate’s hand.

Love may make the world go round, but it certainly prompts those under its spell to do some pretty weird things. Almost one in 10 Americans acknowledges having sipped champagne from a shoe or slipper - or would do so. More would hurl it at a lover who crossed them.

Almost four out of 10 women with wounded feelings say they’ve been so mad they’ve thrown a shoe at the guy who did them wrong.

Which leads to: Love, for men, is something quite different from what it is for women. On Valentine’s Day, for example, American Dialogue found, a majority of men think of sending flowers (58 percent), while only a minority of woman (28 percent) would prefer to receive them.

The majority of women would rather receive tickets to a show or concert, a night out or a gift certificate. And they consider that the best way to demonstrate love is by doing rather than giving.

Some 36 percent said the most powerful display of affection is doing a chore unasked, followed by phoning or sending a card for no reason (34 percent).