Just Think About It, Guys

What does it mean to be an NBA player?

On the road, you receive $80 a day meal money.

That’s 80 bucks for your pocket. Your hotel room is paid for. Your plane fare is paid for. Your transportation from the airport to the hotel is provided by the team. Your transportation to and from the arena is provided by the team.

All for free.

And here is what it means to be an NBA player: You never have to buy a plane ticket. You don’t have to worry about being crammed in the middle seat.

You fly on a chartered jet. Every seat is first class. Every meal is specially prepared, no mystery meat and stale peanuts for these passengers. Every whim from videos to blankets to fluffy pillows is provided.

You don’t even need a ticket.

A bus takes you from the arena after a game directly to the runway, where you board the chartered jet. No need to walk through an airport with the unwashed masses. No need to pray that you get an aisle seat.

What about your bags?

When you’re an NBA player, you never worry about your suitcases.

Suppose your team was playing tonight in Boston, and tomorrow in Chicago.

Here is what you do: You pack your bag in Boston, and you call the bellhop. You tell him you’re with the Cleveland Cavaliers. If you have any class, you use some of that $80 a day to tip the guy.

You hand the bellhop your bag in Boston, and - like magic - it appears at your door after you check into your hotel in Chicago.

And being an NBA player means never having to stand in line at the hotel desk and ask for a room. When you arrive, it’s all set up. The traveling secretary for your team simply hands you a key.

Then it’s off to your room, often where your bag is already waiting.

No dishpan hands

You don’t have to worry about washing your uniform or socks. The team does that for you. And you don’t have to worry about buying basketball shoes. A company supplies them for you - and pays you just for wearing their shoes!

You don’t have to tape your own ankles. You don’t have to find your own doctor and make an appointment. The team takes care of all that for you.

Heck, you don’t even have to lift weights alone, as every team has a strength coach to put you on a program and help you get stronger.

Being an NBA player means you don’t have to do much of anything but show up on time, listen to the coach and play the game. For that, your average salary is $2.6 million - plus all these perks.

And being an NBA player means you don’t have to do a lot of thinking for yourself.

And right now, that’s the problem.

Some deal

Today, the NBA players will gather in New York to vote on the owners’ labor proposal.

It’s a deal that will raise the average salary to at least $3.5 million within three years.

It’s a deal that hikes the minimum salary from $272,000 to at least $300,000. And if you are a five-year veteran, the minimum is $500,000. If you’re a seven-year veteran, it’s $600,000. The longer you’ve played, the higher the minimum.

It’s a deal that does put a limit on how much you can make, but that’s some limit: $10.5 million per season for less than 10 years of experience, $12.25 million for 10 or more years of experience.

It’s a complicated deal, and it’s a deal that bugs the free-market types, because there are limits and controls. But it’s a deal that will pay you even more than you’re making today, a deal that is worth a staggering amount of money.

It’s a deal that really only hurts the top 5 percent of the league, the guys who already make more than $10 million.

If you’re an NBA player, how do you vote?

One of the boys

Here is also what it means to be an NBA player: You want to be one of the guys. It’s why bathroom humor and foul language dominate most dressing-room conversations.

Most of these men don’t talk like that away from the job, but in a room with the rest of the guys, the lowest common denominator of behavior prevails. It’s as if seeing their teammates causes everyone to have a collective brain belch.

Here is something else about NBA players: Even if they sit on the end of the bench, most of them think they’d be stars if only they were on another team with a coach who would appreciate their talent.

Many NBA players themselves are star-struck, Jordan and Barkley wannabes. They are the foot soldiers in the trenches of the NBA, but they see themselves as generals.

The stars - or at least their agents - have been running the negotiations for the players’ union. They will tell the membership today that this is a rotten offer from the selfish owners and recommend they turn it down.

Players from Kevin Willis to Karl Malone to Jayson Williams have said “the owners’ deal is decent,” to quote Malone.

But when players gather in that room today for the vote, will they make their own decisions? Or will they just follow along?