We Can Almost Taste Trendiness
On Spokane-bound flights, it’s interesting to hear out-of-towners comment on what they see out the window as the plane flies low over the city before landing.
The other day, a man who had offered ample evidence of being a nitwit gazed down and said just one word: “Sprawl.”
True enough. But that guy didn’t realize he had just done something that doesn’t happen often.
He had made Spokane sound almost trendy.
Irreconcilable differences: Spokane’s Stephen Schuck is an American. His wife, Beverley, is from England.
A few years back, their daughter asked for an explanation of Independence Day. Stephen tried to be tactful.
He told the little girl that Fourth of July celebrations noted the day Mommy’s country and Daddy’s country got a divorce.
Any day now: Someone in the Inland Northwest will actually admit that every possible specialty-products use for huckleberries has already been attempted.
Flamingo harassment (not to be confused with giving someone the bird): Jennie Groenig wanted to buy a pink-flamingo yard decoration as a gag gift. But when she stopped at a store where she was sure she could find one, a clerk told her that a guy trying to drive his neighbor crazy had bought out their entire supply.
Sayings that should be on buttons or bumper stickers:
“Don’t flatter yourself - I was staring at your dog.”
“Ex-Californians aren’t the problem - you are.”
“I live in North Idaho and acknowledge the federal government.”
“My other car is a heap so I legally registered it in Washington.”
“Nobody on my Hoopfest team was a jerk.”
“Refusing to let Spokane news media shape my reality.”
“Decode fictions that shape Spokane’s image.”
“Get that zucchini away from me.”
This might be a record: We heard from a woman in Newport who, over the course of one recent afternoon, was visited by five door-to-door vacuum salesmen.
Furry faith: Guess which species involved in the following is crazy.
The Universal Life Animal Ministry in Texas recently wrote to the Wake Up Review, inquiring about classified ad rates. According to the letter, the group wants to promote a program of pet baptisms.
Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest dairy cow deserves a Slice salute?