Cheap Seats

National Huckleberry Association?

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on what he calls the “ugly NBA” at the turn of the century:

“The brute knocked the ballet out of the game. Scoring fell off and whistles and fouls kidnapped the gracefulness.

“The snapshot of the sport became two guys leaning into each other under the basket, going nowhere, grunting and pawing like two grizzly bears with a honey pot between them, or two tired heavyweights clinching in a ring.”

A mile high on something

Presumably Mark Kiszla is high on the Mile High City when he writes that it “towers above the rest of the country as the United States’ home of champions.”

As evidence, he cites Larry Walker, “the most complete ballplayer in the National League,” and Terrell Davis, “nothing less than the MVP of the NFL.”

He adds, “You could search the world and not find a better offensive-defensive tandem of center Peter Forsberg and goalie Patrick Roy on a single hockey team” and that Antonio “McDyess is a rising NBA star.”

Concludes Kiszla, “This town is overpopulated with winners.”

Let’s see now, answers Jim Hodges of the Los Angeles Times, there are the Broncos, with two Super Bowl titles in a row. Check.

And the Rockies, uh, down in the N.L. West standings, despite the talented Walker.

And the Avalanche, uh, lost to Dallas in the NHL Western Conference semifinals with Roy.

And, uh, the Nuggets. Words fail.

Would somebody get this guy a Valium?

Here’s a guy on a roll

Joe Dean knew from the way he walked that he was going to bowl well in his Tuesday afternoon league last month. The 87-year-old Dean ended up striding into the record book as he became the oldest person to roll a sanctioned 300 game.

The American Bowling Congress confirmed that Dean’s perfect game on June 15 at Holiday Lanes in Columbus, Ohio, broke a record held by Bowling Hall of Fame member Joe Norris of San Diego, who rolled a 300 in 1994 at age 86 and remains an active bowler.

“I can usually tell how I’m going to do by how my legs feel,” Dean said during a break from practice. “They were feeling really well that day, but a 300 game isn’t something you think about because you have to have everything go right for you.

“That’s just the kind of game I had. Every shot was in the pocket and carried well.”

Whatever suits you

Tim Robbins, who played rookie minor league pitcher “Nook” LaLoosh in the motion picture “Bull Durham,” has donated the uniform he wore in the film to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y.

The uniform from the 1988 movie that starred Kevin Costner was donated by Robbins on a recent visit with his son, Miles.

We recall that Miles’ mom, Susan Sarandon, appeared out of uniform.

The last word …

“Learning how to speak and communicate is easily the greatest accomplishment in my life.”

- Broadcaster/basketball great Bill Walton, who didn’t overcome a severe speech impediment until he was almost 30 years old.