Cheap Seats
Stop the presses!
Pro wrestling champion Sable is suing the World Wrestling Federation for $110 million, complaining it wanted her to participate in a lesbian story line, expose her breasts on TV and appear in sexually degrading photos.
The lawsuit, filed Thursday in federal court, charges that professional wrestling has become increasingly “obscene, titillating, vulgar and unsafe.”
What about illegal, immoral and fattening?
Don’t call them America’s team
Dan Le Batard of the Miami Herald on why he finds the New York Knicks distasteful: “Look at New York’s roster to find all the charming things you love about sports. Latrell Sprewell choked his coach. Larry Johnson is a walking paternity suit.
“Charlie Ward, Reggie White-like, tucks his hatred inside the pages of his Bible. Marcus Camby took so much free stuff in college that he ruined probation-riddled UMass all by himself.
“Chris Childs is a recovering alcoholic. Kurt Thomas, with Dennis Rodman gone, might be the league’s dirtiest player. Patrick Ewing’s wife filed for divorce after learning of his infidelity with a team cheerleader.”
All smoke
Cincinnati Reds manager Jack McKeon, adding a disclaimer to his previous promise to stop smoking cigars if the Reds go 10 games above .500:
“I’ll give them up when we get 10 games over. But I’ll start smoking them again when we get to 11 games over.”
Fan from the Blue Lagoon
Australian tennis champion Patrick Rafter can understand why Andre Agassi might want to split with Brooke Shields. Rafter recalls once playing Agassi and seeing Shields in the stands.
“She was out of control,” Rafter said in Vogue magazine. “She’d grimace or put her hands on her face whenever he missed a shot.
“I would hate that. You look up there for support. If your wife or girlfriend is looking like they don’t enjoy it, they should stay home.”
No kings on those hills
Former major league manager Bill Rigney, now an advisor to the Oakland Athletics, has seen hundreds of brawls in his 60 years in baseball.
“Baseball players are the worst fighters I’ve seen in my entire life,” said Rigney, who began his pro career in Spokane. “The guy charging the mound is thinking, `What the hell do I do now that I’m here?”’
Here’s a sticky wicket
Writes Garry Hill in Track & Field News:
“One of the great rules in any sport has to be the NHL’s 46(a): … `A player whose stick is broken may participate in the game provided he drops the broken portion.’
“How do you know which one of the pieces is the broken one?”
That empty feeling
Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News on Robby Gordon’s running out of gas on the last lap of the Indy 500: “The Jazz know exactly how he feels.”
The last word …
“I understand them a lot better since they got their braces out.”
- Diane Bourley-Medecin, interpreter at French Open news conference, speaking of Venus and Serena Williams