Cheap Seats

Over our dead bodies

The Boston Red Sox want a bigger park than venerable Fenway and their desire has inspired an outpouring of debate.

The best-case scenario has a new park opening in 2003, but Dan Shaughnessy, the Boston Globe columnist who has written two books about Fenway, thinks it will take at least five more years.

“I’d like it to be forever, but I understand the reality,” Shaughnessy said. “We could all be dead by the time this is done.”

Belle’s got some advice on the QT

It’s been two months since Albert Belle, the often silent Baltimore Orioles slugger launched the “Bank on Belle” section on his Web site, a compendium of financial tips unusual to the extent that sites from baseball players tend to focus more on fielding than on the 401(k).

Belle’s approach is unusual in another way, too. In an age when hype may be as important to an Internet site’s success as the timing of its initial public offering, Belle has extended his no-comment policy to cyberspace. That won’t be good for business, industry analysts said.

“It’s just not very smart,” said Patrick Keane, an Internet analyst with Jupiter Communications Inc. “If you don’t get traffic, you’re out of business.”

While Belle’s marquee value stems from his hitting prowess and his controversies, his Web site isn’t only about baseball.

There’s a daily on-line crossword puzzle. Belle finishes it and allows his fans to compare their time against his. Fans can buy Belle’s new breakfast item, “Albert Belle’s Slugger Cereal.”

And then thre is “Financial advice from Albert, the money player” offered at the site (www.athletedirect.com). Belle, who said he once lost about $40,000 betting on sports other than baseball, tells investors how they can win with stocks, bonds, rare art and coins.

Start with certificates of deposit, Belle says, followed by bond mutual funds, stock mutual funds, and then individual stocks. When buying securities, Belle suggests Microsoft Corp., and he recommends snapping up a speculative investment such as an Internet company.

Belle’s site carries a disclaimer: “I’m not a financial guru or anything.”

Arthur Karafin, a Philadelphia-based financial planner who manages $500 million in assets, said Belle’s right about that.

“It’s less than worthless. It’s a joke,” Karafin said.

No ringing endorsement, either

Says Geoff Reiss, a vice president for ESPN Internet Ventures: “I’m not sure that Albert Belle would be the person I’d be going to for financial advice. I’m not about to go to Kramer from `Seinfeld’ to learn how to hit a curve ball.”

Ewing gets Knicked

Peter Vecsey in the New York Post: “Patrick Ewing’s unavailability for the remainder of the playoffs tends to throw Jeff Van Gundy’s game plan into disarray.

“There may not be enough time to designate someone else who’s equally capable of missing the critical wide-open shot.”

The last word …

“I’m playing against guys I’ve seen only in video games.”

- Pittsburgh Pirate rookie Warren Morris