Public Periscope
We thought the code of the West was Morse
Spokane County’s “Code of the West” is such a big hit back East that county commissioners may want to borrow a page from Hollywood - do a sequel and charge money. Of course, like all good sequels, it should outdo the original and be targeted for a key market - the folks who are sure everyone east of Manhattan is a barbarian or a rube. … Some suggestions for Code II:
Ammo is expensive; if you shoot all yours up on frivolous targets, don’t expect the government to give you more.
Potholes are a part of everyday life. Rather than calling the Roads Department, fill the spaces with snake rattles and leftover hardtack.
Don’t complain to the government if a bald eagle or grizzly bear snatches your baby from its crib.
During cattle drives down Main Street, sport utility vehicles must yield the right of way to cows and horses.
Any other suggestions? Contact Public Periscope at the numbers listed below.
We stand corrected
People who work in glass towers shouldn’t throw stones. A few weeks ago, Public Periscope chided the folks in Browne’s Addition and the Human Rights Commission about minor spelling errors. … That prompted alert reader Jeff Kuney to send us e-mail that the newspaper has a little spelling problem of its own - one of those pesky I-before-E-except-after-C things - on a sign on the west side of its printing plant. … Our excuse? It’s so hard to get a good spellcheck program for signs.
Six-fourteen alert
Before rushing off to work or chores today, here’s a reminder: It’s Flag Day. … While admittedly one of the nation’s smaller holidays - there aren’t many special Flag Day episodes on your favorite sitcom or soap opera, are there? - this is the day set aside to fly the flag. But be careful. Some people in the area are experts at flag protocol and take offense when the Stars and Stripes is flown improperly. … For example, one always should fly the U.S. flag higher than the flag of any other country if the two are being displayed together. One should not fly the flag upside down unless one is in real trouble. … And the one that some well-meaning people in Spokane ignore regularly: A flag should be taken in at night if it’s not properly lighted. So fly the flag today but bring it in tonight.
Big sellers
The U.S. Government Printing Office is no New York Times, but it does have its own best-seller list. Want to guess what’s on the top of the latest one? … Nope. It’s the “International Certificate of Vaccination” by the Department of Health and Human Services. The travel biz must be good because No. 4 is “Your Trip Abroad” by the State Department. … In between are the Department of Labor’s “General Industry Digest” and “Buying Your Home” by the Department of Housing and Urban Development.
Help wanted
The state attorney general’s office is looking for consumer volunteers to help with the hundreds of thousands of complaints and questions it gets each year. Volunteers answer phones, evaluate and mediate complaints and help investigators and staff. … While the job doesn’t pay, it does have a valuable reward, Attorney General Christine Gregoire says. Volunteers learn about consumer law and how to protect themselves while they learn how to protect others. … Requirements include the ability to work at least 12 hours a week for six months. College students can earn class credits, and travel costs can be reimbursed. More information is available by calling (800) 551-4636.
Getting involved
The city of Spokane is trying to fill two vacancies on the Bicycle Advisory Board. Applicants for the three-year terms should be willing to show up at City Hall for evening meetings on the third Tuesday of each month. … Apply at the mayor’s office at City Hall or call 625-6252 for more information.