Cheap Seats
Close enough for a gimmie
Mississippi’s Department of Economic and Community Development boasted, “There are courses in the area credited to that famous designer and architect Jack Nicholas.”
How, then, do you explain the DH?
St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire is not among those favoring interleague play in the major leagues. He says:
“It doesn’t do anything for the game. It screwed up the schedule and hasn’t gained the notoriety they thought it would. I think we should go back to the way the game of baseball is meant to be played.”
Big talk for someone who spent a decade in the A.L.
Besides, the main sponsor is Mr. Coffee
Producer Larry Thompson, on why his TV biopic will be titled “Joe & Marilyn,” instead of “Marilyn & Joe:” “Joe hit more home runs than Marilyn.”
The anchovy of sports
After Dave Kindred wrote in The Sporting News that baseball was the national pastime, Bob Fidrych responded by writing, “You’re right. Baseball is the national pastime. It is definitely past its time.”
Baseball, either you love it or you hate it.
We think they’re both nuts
From Bill Plaschke in the Los Angeles Times:
L.A.’s newest power forward jumps up, steps in front of you, turns her back.
“Now we’re gonna play a game called `Make Me Laugh,”’ says DeLisha Milton.
Now we’re gonna what?
“When I count to three, you cannot laugh. You cannot make a sound. You cannot even show your teeth,” she says. “Ready? One … two … three.”
She spins and faces you with eyelids rolled back, fingers stuck awkwardly in teeth, mouth fixed in a crooked grin.
You laugh. You aren’t sure why, but you laugh for a full 30 seconds. You laugh so hard, others hanging around the Forum floor after a Los Angeles Sparks practice are staring.
“You lose! You lose!” DeLisha Milton shouts in delight, plopping back down in her courtside seat. “Now, it’s your turn to try to make me laugh.”
The Mailman delivers you to the dentist
From comedy writer Jerry Perisho: “Utah Jazz forward Karl Malone has won the NBA’s most valuable player award. The little man on top of the trophy is knocking another guy’s teeth out with his elbows.”
Big doings in a small town
With 667,650 television households, San Antonio is the smallest market to make the NBA Finals since Fort Wayne played Philadelphia 44 years ago.
The last word …
“The new `Star Wars’ is so bad Dennis Rodman would have made it better.”
- Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune