Mind, Body & Baby Using Eastern Philosophy As Her Basis, Author Takes A Holistic Approach To Child Care

When Grant Seyburn was born at Sinai Hospital on Dec. 17, his mother looked at his face, his father looked at his hands and his grandmother looked at his dosha.

“All babies are kaphas, and then in about 10 days you can start to decide which body type they are,” says Joyce Golden Seyburn. “This baby is a vata-pitta.”

A vata-what?

Imagine that you and your wife are having your second child, and your mother in California has written a book on parenting, “The Seven Secrets to Raising a Happy and Healthy Child” (Berkley, $12). The secrets include not only identifying your baby’s dosha - a Sanskrit word describing mind-body type - but also natural childbirth, meditation, baby yoga with your infant, massage and embracing the ancient Indian medical system called Ayurveda (ah-yoor-VAY-da).

“I’m open-minded, but a lot of it is, `OK, Mom,’ ” says Marc Seyburn, a tax attorney who lives in Commerce Township, Mich., with his wife, daughter and new son.

Still, this time he is willing to give it a try. His 4-year-old, Shelby, does yoga. His wife, Alisa, meditates. They massage Grant and discuss his dosha the way other parents might discuss colic. They’ve consulted an Ayurvedic doctor. Why? Alisa has embraced her mother-in-law’s child-rearing ideas wholeheartedly.

“Joyce has definitely inspired me to put these things into my lifestyle,” says Alisa Seyburn, 30, who did yoga with her husband up to her seventh month of pregnancy and massages Grant with lilac and almond oil to quiet his fussiness. “A lot of my friends haven’t heard of Ayurveda. I don’t know if they think it’s strange, but I introduced them to it.

“My own mother can read auras and always said she had ESP, so I come from a background that is comfortable with that.”

Ayurveda, which means “the science of life,” is more than 4,000 years old and is based on the idea that the mind and body are linked so strongly that an imbalance in one can cause disease in the other. Ayurvedic practitioners use an elaborate system of foods, tonics, massage, meditation and other methods to keep the body in balance. Its ancient premises have been modernized in India and the United States, but its mystical qualities have attracted many people who are dissatisfied with traditional Western medicine.

Seyburn says her holistic advice for new parents counterbalances a harsh, technical world.

“A lot of women are more comfortable behind a computer desk than with a baby,” she says. “People want children but they don’t know what to do.”

Though her book rides the tide of public interest in holistic health care, Seyburn has been a metaphysical mom for nearly 30 years.

The Oak Park, Mich., native and former elementary school teacher raised two sons and a daughter in Michigan, but upon her divorce in 1987 she moved to Del Mar, Calif., north of San Diego. There, she tried various careers as a real estate agent, clothing designer and a weaver. She also explored astrology, reflexology, psychic readings, ESP, channeling and all things spiritual and metaphysical.

Then she found her stride as a volunteer at the Center for Mind/Body Medicine in San Diego, founded by charismatic doctor Deepak Chopra, who has written more than a dozen books based on Ayurveda and has millions of followers.

For three years, she absorbed his popularized version of Ayurveda and its central concept of a trio of mind-body types, called doshas - vata, pitta and kapha. Ayurveda holds that each dosha has special nutritional and environmental needs.

When Seyburn’s first grandchild, Shelby, was born in 1994, she looked for a book to send Marc and Alisa that described mind-body parenting. She found nothing. Even her idol Chopra had concentrated exclusively on adults. A book was needed.

“I thought, `I can’t write it, Deepak can write it.’ But a friend said I should write it, and beat them to the scoop,” says Seyburn. So she quit the center and started writing.

She credits meditation for allowing her book to flow.

Visiting Michigan to see her new grandson, Seyburn ponders how her life would have been different if she hadn’t moved West. Although she’s a Michigan native, “I always felt I was in the wrong place,” she says. “I was always seeking things. Had I stayed here, I wouldn’t have written the book. I would be at my children’s beck and call, and I’d put myself last,” she says. “I’m at a stage in life where I love my family, but I have a mission.”

And by living far away, her advice comes as a gentle support, not a mother-knows-best mandate, her son says.

“The way Mom has gone about it has never been intimidating,” says Marc Seyburn, 30.

“Her book isn’t `guru’; any new mother could pick it up and read it,” Alisa Seyburn says. “It’s helpful to know the doshas, so you can recognize your children’s personalities.”

Joyce Seyburn’s one regret is that she didn’t have her own book to read when her three children were little. She would have understood them more. She believes now that when parents and children don’t get along, it’s because their doshas are dissimilar. They have trouble understanding each other’s personalities and needs.

AT A GLANCE WHAT’S YOUR CHILD’S `DOSHA’? Detroit Free Press According to the Indian system of Ayurveda, babies reveal one of three mind-body types, or doshas, as young as 10 days and gradually during the first year. Babies vary in terms of eating, sleeping, sensitivity to noise and in their interaction with others. Most people are a combination of two doshas, with one dominant. Your mind-body type stays the same throughout life, says Ayurveda. The idea is that if you can identify your baby’s temperament or dosha, then you will be more patient and provide the environment, stimuli and balance he or she needs. The concept is especially helpful when parents and children have opposite doshas. Ayurveda is extremely complex, but here are major characteristics of the three doshas: * Vata (air or wind): Babies are lively. They are irritable when chilled, if their diapers are wet or in response to loud noises. They startle easily and are light sleepers, so they need dark and silence for naps. Paint such a child’s room a relaxing green or rose. Adult vatas have enthusiastic personalities, learn quickly, are restless, have cold hands and feet, dry skin and are thin. They tend to worry and have insomnia; they benefit from quiet routines and warm foods. * Kapha (earth): Babies are cuddly, even-tempered, good-natured and like routine. They are not disturbed easily by noises or light and tend to be chubby as babies. Give them lots of stimulation, and paint their rooms in bright colors. Adult kaphas are easygoing, with excellent memories and good stamina. They sleep deeply, gain weight easily and tend toward allergies, lethargy and weight-related diseases. They benefit from spicy foods, regular exercise and stimulation. * Pitta (fire): Babies have hearty appetites and are easily frustrated and irritable when hot. They tend to get diaper rash. Keep rooms cool and serve food on time. Paint such a child’s room a calming blue. Adult pittas are articulate, with a sharp intellect. They are precise and orderly. They are prone to impatience and intense bursts of energy, and they can go to extremes. They benefit from a moderate life, cool foods and a cool environment.