Not Pulling Out The Napalm Yet

We’ve discovered a new strain of killer dandelions.

They won’t listen to reason.

So after their refusal to come to the bargaining table, we launched limited chemical warfare. What other choice did we have? Surrender?

So far, they’re mostly feeding on the “weed and feed.” And they’re gaining ground.

We’re hoping for a new round of talks. But the day might be coming when we’ll have no choice but to declare victory and withdraw.

Absorbing blows: You might have seen an ad or heard the radio commercials. A North Idaho casino is going to host a Toughman contest.

OK, maybe having untrained amateurs approximate boxing works on some level as a spectator event.

But is this a true measure of toughness? Don’t think so.

There’s something to be said for being able to take a punch. But if they really wanted to find out about courage and resilience, “Toughman” sponsors would focus on different kinds of challenges.

1. Full-contact childbirth.

2. Enduring absurdly unfair performance evaluations.

3. Your 14-year-old daughter is about to go out virtually skirtless and she shoots you a look that says, “One word and we’re going to war.”

4. This just in: That promotion you wanted has gone to the simpering phony who plays tennis with the boss.

5. A self-absorbed, substance-abusing relative who openly regards you with disdain is coming to stay with your family for a week.

6. You thought your car just needed an oil change, but the guy on the phone is talking about a valve job.

7. Two words: “Root canal.”

8. You look in the newspaper and see that a man with the same name as you has been charged with leaving an infant outside in a hot car while he sat in a tavern for two hours.

9. Your supervisor e-mails you every joke he sees on the Internet.

10. Meetings marathon followed by a computer crash.

11. The grocery sacker is flush with rage because you asked that he not put the cans on top of the bread.

12. You’ve had possession of your new car for about 10 minutes and your young son announces that his stomach doesn’t feel so good.

Slice answers: What’s so great about your favorite chair?

“My husband sits in it,” wrote Vicki Hoaglund.

“With a little butt adjustment, my beloved four-legged friends can join me to watch TV in it,” wrote Nina Young.

“When I’m tired and on my way home from work, I can hear it calling me,” wrote Marion Anderson.

Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest family has made the most of the exchange rate with the Canadian dollar?