Lessons Can Be Learned From Tragedy In Littleton

In the wake of the shootings at Littleton, Colo., our instinct is to search for causes. After all, if we can find what caused the tragedy - better yet, if we can figure out what might have prevented it - our world will feel safer than it has for the past couple of weeks.

It is not that simple. We are trying to explain the inexplicable, hoping to find rationality in something that makes no sense. The perpetrators were capable students who attended school functions and talked about college plans. Their ability to appear ordinary to parents and friends makes their dark thoughts and the results even more terrifying.

No wonder so many children are suddenly anxious about their safety.

When the weeping Columbine students tell us they never dreamed it could happen in their school, the rest of us know it could happen anywhere.

I doubt we will ever have all the answers we want. Still, even now. Littleton teaches us some early lessons.

Pay attention to what’s going on in children’s lives.

This is the tough one. Any list of “signs” to watch for, whether depression, strong anger, or even doing something illegal, could describe almost any adolescent at some time. It’s hard to distinguish between the routine pains of growing up and the stronger danger signals. This is not a job for parents alone.

Everyone who spends time with children has the responsibility of watching out for them and helping them notice their special qualities.

In 65 Idaho school districts, Idaho’s Department of Health and Welfare connects social workers with schools so that teachers or parents who notice changes in student behavior have somewhere to turn. It is possible to create a caring connection between school and home and provide ongoing support or resources to address any areas of continuing concern.

One survey shows a drop in child abuse and neglect referrals in schools where the program operates. Such evidence of reduced stress can only mean an improvement in children’s lives.

Time for real conversations with kids is sometimes hard to come by, but it is essential. Everyone needs a willing ear to listen to the day’s events, triumphs and disappointments. That lets the adults monitor which disappointments or irritations are ones that happen to everyone and simply require some resilience to weather, and which ones are grinding away at the child’s internal reservoir of strength and need more attention.

Children want to be accepted and appreciated.

When we hear about a youngster who succeeds despite overwhelming odds, we almost always find in the story one adult who cared about and spent time with that child. Children who believe they are valued get a powerful message about the world and their place of worth in it. We owe real and continuing thanks to the scout leaders, school volunteers, Sunday school teachers, summer league coaches and others who demonstrate their interest in youth and share their talents and knowledge.

Talk to children about safety at school and about what they can do.

Schools are organized around safety. For some children, school is a safe oasis in an otherwise chaotic world. Throughout Idaho, standard safety precautons are exercised daily. Adults visiting a school must check in. The names of people authorized to pick children up are kept on file. Safety drills are carried out. There are adults - teachers, custodians, school resource officers - all over the place. Yet, those precautions fail unless all of us, including students, are alert to problems and willing to call attention to them. Littleton reminds us to take such reports seriously and follow up appropriately. We need to convey to our children our expectation that they will act with respect and civility toward others.

We can put these lessons to use right away. I challenge every adult and child to encourage and support the people who inhabit your world, and I applaud the efforts of all who take time to notice and acknowledge the special qualities of others. We will not be able to avert all of life’s tragedies, but we can make a difference in the lives of those around us.