Cheap Seats
He’s got his head on straight
Kevin Keegan, newly named coach of England’s national soccer team, apparently has his priorities straight.
“It’s my job not to get beheaded,” the former English star said. “I don’t want a knighthood, but I want to keep my head on my shoulders.”
If looks could kill
Randy Johnson, the Arizona Diamondbacks’ 6-foot-10 pitcher, is an imposing sight on the mound. Cincinnati Reds first baseman Sean Casey describes how it feels to face him:
“I looked up and he was standing 10 feet away, giving me this frightening serial-killer stare and I said to myself, `My God, what is he going to throw me now?’ Man, I ain’t seen anything that big on a pitching mound.”
Spiderman he’s not
Legend has it that when the Chicago Cubs released outfielder Lou “the Mad Russian” Novikoff in the 1940s, it was because he was afraid to go near the ivycovered Wrigley Field wall because of a fear of spiders.
Henry Rodriguez, the Cubs’ left fielder, can sympathize with him.
“I don’t know what’s back there,” he said. “I don’t even want to see what’s down there. I always look at it, but I’ve never stuck my hand in it.”
It’s such a simple game
Ebenezer Ekuban, the defensive end drafted by the Dallas Cowboys, had never see a game of football when he enrolled at Bladensburg (Md.) High from his family’s native Ghana.
When he tried out for the football team, he didn’t know enough English to understand what was being said in the huddle, so coaches told him, “On defense, if you see a guy with the ball, catch him. On offense, if we throw you the ball, you catch it.”
Ekuban followed orders well enough to play at North Carolina and become a first-round draft choice.
The bigger they are…
When the Lakers’ Shaquille O’Neal did a backward somersault after falling down during a playoff game last week, TNT play-by-play announcer Kevin Harlan said, “I’m holding up a 9 card right now.” Is that the Richter scale?
Not even in the ballpark
Janice Braxton of the WNBA’s Cleveland Rockers jokingly asked for a new Mercedes-Benz as a retirement gift.
Instead, the 1984 Olympic gold medalist got a framed version of her No. 8 Rockers jersey.
The last word …
“Mike, Please Don’t Hurt Me.”
- The message on the scoreboard in center field at Arizona’s Bank One Ballpark after Mike Piazza of the New York Mets hit it with a ball during batting practice.