Tyson Keeping Teeth Sharp

Former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson, who bit off part of Evander Holyfield’s ear in a 1997 title fight, said if a referee fails to protect him in his next bout, he would react the same way.

“I would do it again under those circumstances,” Tyson told the Los Angeles Times. “(Referee) Mills Lane wasn’t protecting me (from head butts). He didn’t handle the situation appropriately.”

The fighter said referees won’t act if he has a rough fight. “Nobody ever has any sympathy or pity for me.”

That explains why Tyson wants Alfred E. Neuman as his next opponent.

Priorities

Sports-book author John Feinstein told Sporting News columnist Dave Kindred of the Jewish fan of the Red Sox who went to his rabbi before Rosh Hashanah and said, “I know it’s Rosh Hashanah, but it’s the Yankees and Red Sox, and Pedro Martinez is pitching.

Said the rabbi, “It’s not such a problem. That’s why God invented VCRs.”

And the fan said, “You mean, I can tape the Rosh Hashanah services?”

Must be a Y2K problem

During warmups before the Raiders’ last home game, the Oakland Coliseum scoreboard advised the hometown fans that the co-captains for the game would be Jeff George and Aaron Wallace. George is in Minnesota, Wallace is out of football, and the scoreboard operator was obviously out to lunch.

The next message, however, provided the punch line: “Commitment to Excellence.”

Now that’s mean

Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune nominates Bryan Marchment of the San Jose Sharks as the biggest cheapshot artist in the NHL: “Dirtiest player in this or any league. Would’ve made a good Hun.”

Go drink some tea

“Geez, the way Europeans are crying about the Ryder Cup,” writes Jeff Gordon in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, “you would think that Team Crenshaw ran around giving the foreigners wedgies and spraying them with seltzer bottles.

“So our boys showed some emotion. So what? This is America, the country that produced `Baywatch,’ the Beastie Boys and Big Macs. So we’re a little unrefined. Deal with it.”

The last word …

“On any ballclub, 10 guys are gonna like you, 10 guys are gonna hate you and five are gonna be undecided.

“The trick is to keep the undecided guys away from the guys who hate you.”

- Revived wisdom from Casey Stengel on the secret of good managing