Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen

Thu., Sept. 23, 1999

D.F. Oliveria The Spokesman-Revi

Yes, there’s joy in Tuberville, now that the UI Vandellas finally have beaten Washed-Up State. But it’s subdued. After all, it was only two years ago that we North Idaho Speck Tators were fighting true-blue Wazzuers for Rose Bowl tickets. And hip-hip-hooraying for enfant terrible QB Ryan Leaf. No one on this side of the tracks enjoys seeing Coach Mike Price and his program so far down. (In fact, we wouldn’t wish the current state of WSU football on any college, this side of Boise JC.) Coach Price can take this one to the bank, though. When the Cougs start winning again, this fair-weather Common Tater will be back in his corner, 110 percent.

Salt Lake City: Welcome, now reach for the sky

Quotable quote (from the National Review): “We have to look for opportunities like that to just screw ‘em” - Salt Lake City mayoral frontrunner Jim Bradley, proposing to increase revenue by jacking up car rental rates for the 2002 Winter Olympics … Now that another study questions DARE’s effectiveness, it’s time for a new slogan: Dare to say no to DARE … This Potatohead always preferred Mary Ann to Ginger. Mary Ann’s the type of girl you could take home to Ma. Or at least to Driggs, Idaho, where she now lives - as far from civilization as Gilligan’s Island … French Fries on the Side (or “5 reasons Spokane Interstate Fair attendance sucked lemons”): 1, Smoking ban; 2, $7 admissions; 3, 2,100 jobless steelworkers; 4, No smoking ban; and 5,No Reba, Willie or Shania.

Salmon High Yellowbellies turn tail, run

In the end, Salmon (Idaho) High decided to switch the name of its mascot, Savages, rather than fight a threatened lawsuit from the omnipresent Thought Police. An AP story didn’t say what the new Salmon mascot is. But Gooey Creampuffs seems appropriate … Bomp, bomp, bomp - and another train bites the dust (in North Idaho) … For those keeping score at home, diabetes is out and homeless vets are in as the new Miss America cause celebre. This Spudhead can’t wait for a reigning Ms. Cheesecake to speak out against the dangers of breast implants … Great line from unputdownable “Radical Son,” by David Horowitz: “It was like the old joke about wisdom: What was its secret? Good judgment. And the secret of good judgment? Experience. And the secret of experience? Bad judgment” … Hey, Mr. & Mrs. B. Yon Kibbie Dome, do we get six more weeks of sunshine, now that you’ve seen your shadows at a UI, ahem, “home” game? … Today’s edition of Hot Potatoes was brought to you by the Number 25 - or the number of Potatoheads in the Idaho trade delegation to the Far East who survived the Taipei earthquake, including GQov. Dirk Kempthorne and state Sen. Jack Riggs, R-Coeur d’Alene.

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