Just Sing Those Blues, Lou

South Carolina football coach Lou Holtz doesn’t like his school’s fight song.

Of course that’s the least of his problems with a team that went 0-11 last year - Holtz’s first at the school - and is in the midst of a 21-game losing streak, longest among Division I teams.

Said Holtz, “I would like to have something that would bind us together, something you could learn and sing … if you ever win a game.”

She’s the pick of the pickers

Kristin Helgeson has become the newest basketball guru.

The 29-year-old Atlanta graphics designer was the only person among 590,000 to pick each of the Final Four teams in a contest conducted by ESPN.com. She says she’s not a huge sports fan and prefers football and hockey to basketball.

When the Web site identified her as the sole winner - and posted a link to her e-mail address - Helgeson received hundreds of messages. Some wanted help picking stocks or lottery numbers. One proposed marriage.

Another simply said, “You’re a goddess.”

Ringing endorsement

San Francisco Giants officials refer to their new stadium, Pacific Bell Park, as “The Miracle on Third Street.”

Writes Ray Ratto in the San Francisco Examiner, “In fact, there may be miracles to be had here in time, but so far, the only miracle is that people feel good about something named after the phone company.”

Egg on his face

In ruling out the possibility of Tara Lipinski and Oksana Baiul competing in the 2002 Olympics, International Skating Union president Ottavio Cinquanta explained, “If you have an egg and you boil it, and you want to have it back fresh, it’s impossible.”

Just take me out

Announcer Brent Musburger, commenting on ESPN radio about the Chicago Cubs-New York Mets games in Tokyo: “It’s too bad ol’ Harry Caray himself didn’t sing `Take Me Out to the Ballgame.’ Can you just hear the Japanese saying, `They have an announcer named what?”’

The last word …

“The second-greatest unofficial holiday in America is Opening Day, this after the Super Bowl, of course. And although the Super Bowl always has been for sale, so far it has been restricted to this country, and occasionally Atlanta.”

- Columnist Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune, upset that the opening of the major league baseball season was played in Japan.