What A Cute Little Blouse Chomper

Tue., Aug. 1, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Well, they say a high-fiber diet is good for you.

“I was feeding my 4-month-old baby while wearing one of those `trap-door’ nursing shirts that allows for some modesty,” wrote a North Side reader. “My friend’s 3-year-old boy was pretty curious. Finally, he said, `Mom, do babies eat shirts?’ “

* Up to the challenge: Readers localized movie or book titles by giving them a tweak.

“Bury My Heart at Granny’s Buffet.” — Ron Lugone

“All About Steve.” — Richard Evans

“North by NorthTown.” — Robert Luedeking

“Mission Avenue Impossible.” — Kathy Kalich

“101 Marmots.” — Kathy Altieri

“West Plains Drifter.” — SBB

* From the S files: Never trust anyone who unapologetically abuses workplace candy-dish privileges.

* Slice answer: Peter Nufer thinks local housing prices will shoot up next time there is a huge earthquake in California.

* High five: 1. What small business most closely resembles a World War II bomber crew in the sense that the people who work there come from every corner of the country?

2. What was your all-time most memorable moment of confusion involving a personal care/grooming product? (We once squirted lens cleaner in an eye.)

3. How does your family refer to holey underwear?

4. Do you want to start your own firm because your name would look so good followed by “…& Associates”?

5. What inadvertent exclamation or bit of animated traffic play-by-play has been left on your phonemail by someone calling from a cell phone while driving?

* Today’s bug/orifice story: Vern Cox was doing about 50 mph on his motorcycle when a bee zoomed into a nostril. It proceeded to sting him.

“By 5 p.m. that afternoon, my nose was swollen to the size of a tennis ball and my eyes were swollen shut.”

* Idea for one of those “Time for a Superiority Complex” commercials:

A couple from Spokane travel to some distant city where they encounter a professional tennis player who isn’t all that good-looking and who doesn’t like cats.

* G-rated nicknames for breasts: “Someone in our household, who works at Taco Bell, refers to them as Chalupas,” wrote a woman who begged to remain anonymous.

* Today’s Slice question: If HBO’s “Sex and the City” were set in Spokane, what would it be renamed?

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