I Need 10 Copies By Noon, Mutt
Casual Friday has lost its zip.
So maybe Spokane ought to lead the nation in promoting a shift to “Nicknames Friday.”
Just think. Name tags. Lots of smiles. And nobody gets called by his or her real name.
* Slice answer: “Hi, my name is Penny Johnson and I run a daycare in Newman Lake. Without a doubt, my friend Lysa Verment is the worst emotional wreck after dropping off her son Jared, 5. He puts on quite a show at goodbye time. He cries, jumps up and down, begs to be held. She goes to leave and then comes back several times before she finally just goes.
“No sooner does she get to the end of the street than she calls on her cell phone to check on him. By that time, he is eating his breakfast with a big smile, knowing the old guilt-trip worked yet again.”
* Whiteout at Manito Park: The fourth annual come-as-you-are summer social for West Highland terriers and their owners will start Monday at 6:30 p.m. It will be on the main lawn next to Grand Boulevard.
This year, the inclusion-minded organizers say any and all small white dogs are welcome.
* Inland Northwest pickup lines guaranteed to not work: “Hey, didn’t I spend a couple of hours behind you during Bloomsday?”
“Let’s pretend we’re at Hoopfest and I’m trying to guard you.”
“Ever bob for huckleberries?”
“I’m running for the office of strong slow-dancer.”
“Darlin’, you could cure my inferiority complex in a hurry.”
“What are your thoughts about that whole downtown garage thing?”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to quit after four plates.”
“How ‘bout those Huskies?”
“I played the Delta house pledge chairman in `The Basket.”’
“Wanna join my circle of friends?”
“Weren’t you in a Parker Toyota commercial?”
“Wanna see how to get a cougar off ya?”
“You’re almost as pretty as that woman over in the federal building.”
“Beef. It’s what’s for dinner.”
“Now you look like a gal who knows her salmon recovery plans.”
“Whooo-eee. Aren’t you the chick who threw her shirt up on stage during the Bach festival?”
“Hey, apple cups. Going my way?”
“Weren’t we in a class at Eastern?”
* Familiar theme: Our computer archives go back only so far. But since Feb. 2, 1995, marmots have been mentioned in The Slice 35 times.
* Today’s Slice question: If you consider all area entertainment venues, who has had his or her backside in the most different seats?