Bottom Lines A Satirical Look At Topics In The News

Sun., Dec. 3, 2000

By Jim Kershner jimkershner@comcast.net

Money can’t buy you sense

Question: What do you call Steve Eugster’s proposal to raise Spokane City Council salaries from $18,000 to $30,000? Answer: The opposite of “merit pay.”

Now, this would be an entertaining ballot measure

As long as we’re putting everything else to a public vote, let’s put the council’s salary increase on the ballot. It would be the ultimate test of the proposition: Can a ballot measure ever be defeated unanimously?

I would love to see her rap a few knuckles

Here’s a ballot measure that WOULD pass: Should the Spokane City Council be ordered to a mandatory workshop conducted by Miss Manners?

At least this is a controversy that doesn’t involve cigars

I don’t understand why people say they’re “tired” of the constant election coverage. Compared to the other issues that have dominated the media in the past 10 years - O.J., Monica, Tonya Harding - this one is practically a graduate-level civics lesson.

We’re referring to the popular vote, of course

Here’s a handy new nickname for our next president: George the Second. Not only is he the second George Bush to be president, but he actually finished second.

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