Cheap Seats
Keep your sour grapes
Two-time defending Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong, incensed by endless unsubstantiated drug allegations from the French, had threatened to boycott next year’s Tour.
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg told the San Francisco Chronicle: “Why can’t the French leave Armstrong alone and ignore him, just like they do the rest of the American tourists.”
Speak for yourself, Kevin
Kevin McHale, an executive with the Minnesota Timberwolves, who was put on leave until Aug. 1 for his part in the Joe Smith contract scandal: “There are eight or 10 teams that do this all the time. They’re just good at it. We’re lousy.
“I think what people are going to say is, `Man, are they dumb in Minnesota.”’ Keep Gov. Ventura out of this.
Another bolt of insight
This from Thomas Boswell of the Washington Post: “In just two years, Redskin owner Daniel Snyder has become one of sports’ most controversial lightning rods. Apparently, some people are rooting for the lightning.”
Garbo on ice
During his recent scoring slump, reporters asked Pittsburgh Penguin star Jaromir Jagr if he had an explanation for his lack of production.
“I don’t know,” he said. “If I would know, I would tell you. Don’t ask me that question right now. Do you want to go into my mind right now? Leave me alone. You understand?”
Anguish on Planet Jordan
As a player, Michael Jordan was seldom frustrated. Now he says he has never been more frustrated. His frustration stems from being president of operations for the woeful Washington Wizards.
“It’s a totally new experience for me,” he told Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times. “I haven’t been like this in a long time, since I had a fight with Steve Kerr in practice.
“Instead of playing to win, these guys play not to lose. They are totally scared, and it’s embarrassing to sit there and watch the game. I understand why the fans boo.
“You should see me… . I’m cussing at the TV; I’m not handling it well at all.”
Is this like a double Salchow?
From Track & Field News:
“Mark Crear, as it turns out, won his Sydney silver (in the high hurdles) with a pair of hernias, one in his belly button, the other in his lower abdomen. He had surgery on both in early November.”
The last word …
“I’ve seen MacLean naked (in the locker room). He’s not using steroids!”
- TNT’s irrepressible ex-NBA star Charles Barkley analyzing Miami Heat forward Don MacLean’s suspension for using steroids.