Looking For Resolute Resolvers

Sat., Dec. 30, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

You probably don’t need help coming up with New Year’s resolutions.

We’ve all got our own ideas about self-improvement, after all. But in case you’ve been busy, here are a few just to get you started.

I will try to remember that some people weren’t lucky enough to have good parents.

No more pretending to know what people are talking about when I have no idea.

I will never again underestimate the possibility that the next big idea could come from right here.

When in grocery stores, I will occasionally check to see if my shopping cart is blocking the aisle.

I will make a point of praising people who exceed my expectations.

I will have compassion for those who cannot stop talking.

I will choose role models carefully.

I will never offer “That’s how we’ve always done it” as an explanation.

I will help friends and family members improve by noting when they are being annoying.

I will be confident when pronouncing pretentious words.

I will help the customer standing before me and put the caller on hold.

I will try to remember that some people do the things they do because they are insecure.

I will have my checkbook out.

As a gift to my co-workers, I will cease singing the theme song from the old “Daniel Boone” TV show.

Every once in a while, I’ll stop and ask myself, “Am I being an incredible phony right now?”

I will not hog the remote.

I will learn.

I’ll consider the possibility that someone might have had what he considered legitimate reasons for purchasing that road pig he drives.

I will identify and analyze the forces shaping my worldview.

No more “creative” compliments that obviously creep people out.

I will try to remember that popular culture did not freeze in place the year I was a high school junior.

Instead of wasting everyone’s time with nasty back-and-forth taunting, I will simply choke movie-theater talkers until they pass out.

I will treat children as children.

I will try to think of other words to express frustration.

I will appear to listen.

I will remember that, in Spokane, anything is possible because I live here.

I will save scorn for worthy targets.

I will pretend to be unselfish.

I will make sure my co-workers know that I distinguish between those who talk about doing the work and those who actually do the work.

When necessary, I will rise above it.

* Today’s Slice question: Who was the Inland Northwest’s Woman of the Year?

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