A Holiday That Is Magically Delicious

Barbara Graham’s 5-year-old son Sean was looking through a box of holiday decorations when he came across some shamrock-shaped items.

“Hey, Mommy,” he said. “Are these for Lucky Charms Day?”

* New century euphemism: “While talking to my barbaric brother, Mike Eslick from Orient, he told me he was visiting his Web site,” wrote Debbie Fantasia of Chewelah.

Surprised, she asked him when he’d gotten a computer. And her brother informed her that he hadn’t.

“I’m in my outhouse,” he said.

* Chris Anderson: That study reporting that incompetent people are unaware of their shortcomings didn’t exactly come as a big shock.

Anyone who has watched Inland Northwest voters in action could have told you the same thing.

* Smile and act nice: It’s depressing when you tell a kid to knock off the Eddie Haskell routine and he doesn’t even know what you’re talking about.

* Conversation themes that make eavesdropping irresistible:

1. Noises from the next hotel room.

2. Carpool horror stories.

3. The controversy over “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.”

4. Criminal cousins.

5. Smokers hating nonsmokers.

6. People referring to themselves as a brand or change agent.

7. Useless talents such as being able to do an impression of Ozzie Nelson or always being able to tell when someone is wearing a new bra.

8. Definitions of “mainstream.”

9. Fear of snoring on airplanes.

10. Surreal blind dates.

* Higher education: An ad for Washington State University in the February issue of The Spokane African-American Voice lists a few of the school’s programs designed to enhance the multicultural experience. It also features the picture of a young woman who is so fetching we fear some young men will be tempted to enroll for reasons far removed from the pursuit of academic excellence.

* Just wondering: What Spokane area business plays the best/worst on-hold music? Who around here can hear trains from the farthest away?

* Five things Spokane cats say to newborn human babies:

1. “Your eyes are open. Very good.”

2. “They haven’t even thought about your college tuition.”

3. “Soon you’ll get your own food bowl.”

4. “Good baby. Nice baby.”

5. “Stay over there.”

* Today’s Slice question: If you were named Lord High Executioner of Greater Spokane, who would have reason to worry?