Toilet Dreams Surprisingly Common

Bathrooms are a place to cleanse. Toilet dreams say, “It’s time to let go!” Dear Nancy: My husband of 51 years died 14 months ago and I’ve been challenged in building a new life for myself. Although I know he loved me, he was not demonstrative and I felt emotionally deprived. For nearly 20 years I’ve had recurrent dreams of urinating or defecating on a toilet in full view of other people. Could these dreams be about ridding myself of these feelings? Last night’s dream found me on a toilet again! - Bernadine

A good looking young man with dark hair asks me for a date. Though I sense how much he likes me, I’m non-committal. The same man appears later with white hair and gold highlights. He still wants to spend time with me, but I’m busy with my family. I notice that I have to urinate. I go into a long narrow room with a toilet at the end. There’s garbage nearly to the ceiling. Somewhat embarrassed, and in full view, I relieve myself on top of it. Then my persistent friend shows up again, this time with auburn hair. When I ask how he can change his hair color, he parts his hair at the top of his head and implies that it depends on how it is combed.

Dear Bernadine: Most dreams can be explored from two perspectives: as they address issues with people and situations in your waking life, or reflect your inner-life struggles and growth, with every character and image representing a part of you.

Toilet dreams are so common I feel safe in saying we have all had them! You’re right in your assessment that they are probably depicting the desire to rid yourself of unwanted feelings. This view is generally accepted by dreamworkers throughout the world. We get rid of what we no longer need to carry around, whether it’s emotional baggage or other ideas about ourselves and our lives that no longer serve us.

Bathrooms are a place to cleanse. Toilet dreams say, “It’s time to let go!” In your dreams you relieve yourself in public places. Do you feel vulnerable when others see your pain? Do you feel like you want to hide?

In this particular dream you relieve yourself on a pile of garbage. Beliefs, attitudes and behaviors that no longer serve us show up as trash piles and other garbage in our dreams. Is this a picture of your inner garbage, or are you tired of dealing with someone else’s rubbish and just want to be rid of it?

Because hair grows out of our heads, it’s a metaphor of our thoughts and ideas. You told me there is no man in your life, so the man in your dream is probably your masculine side - the part of you that is creative, intellectual and assertive. This man changes his hair (his mind or perspective) all the time. Do you find yourself doing this? Does this serve or hinder you?

This man wants to spend time with you, and although you like him, you are always preoccupied in your dream. It seems to me that there’s an invitation given in this dream to connect with this changing, creative and masculine part of yourself.

If this were my dream, I would sit quietly, go back into the dream and have a conversation with that man. What does he want? What does he have to share?

You might be pleasantly surprised.