Our Worldly Recycling Bins

Tue., Feb. 15, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

There are those who persist in believing that Spokane is somehow isolated from the rest of the world.

They are, of course, mistaken.

On Sunday, we were taking newspapers to a recycle bin next to a post office. And as we placed a stack in the hutlike structure, we noticed something seemingly out of place atop the pile of papers already inside.

It was a photocopy of a letter from a plastic surgeon in Tel Aviv, Israel. It was addressed to a medical board and recommended another physician for membership in a professional association.

Somehow, it didn’t seem to matter that the doctor in Israel might not be able to pronounce Spokane.

* Three possible reasons the drive-through espresso line has come to a prolonged standstill: 1. Guy at the front of the line is hitting on the young woman working the window.

2. Person at the front of the line has changed her order 16 times.

3. Customer and employee haven’t seen each other since school and have lots of catching up to do.

* Inland Northwest Lifestyle Fantasy No. 63: If you spend a ton of money to redo your kitchen, one result will be the magical occurrence of festive social occasions during which attractive people will stand around and engage in sparkling conversation.

* Parents have to be watched at all times: Ron Hudson was in a South Hill home and garden store when he saw a little girl with a horrified expression. The kid was looking at what her mother intended to purchase, only she hadn’t quite read the label correctly.

“What are we going to do with potty soil?” the little girl asked.

* Give you two Norm Sneads, an Irv Cross and a Bob Brown for it: How many guys around here had a Gary Pettigrew football card back when the Spokane businessman was a member of the Philadelphia Eagles?

* Slice answer: “The best evidence that extra-galactic aliens live among us is, of course, the modern hotel shower,” wrote Roy Myers of Electric City. “The simple, functional combination of a `hot’ tap, a `cold’ tap, and a valve has been replaced by mysterious, unmarked levers and dials. `Hot’ and `cold’ were replaced by red and blue dots, and then disappeared completely. The flow control has two positions: `off’ and `trickle,’ and temperature is fixed at either too hot or too cold.

“I have never actually seen an alien installing one of these monsters, but they could not possibly have been designed by someone from this planet.”

* Today’s Slice question: What date in Inland Northwest history should kids here be required to memorize?

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