Bucky, Phone Home
Sue Tillie thinks some Inland Northwest deer might actually be space aliens who occasionally mistake cars for the mothership.
* Just wondering: Could the lack of fluoride all these years be behind the fact a high percentage of elected officials and community leaders appear to hate each other’s guts?
* Multiple choice: If someday a statue of you is erected hereabouts, what will be engraved on the base?
a.) “She Had Fabulous Hair.”
b.) “He Watched a Lot of TV.”
c.) “Big Fan of Free Beef.”
d.) “Decent Bloomsday Times.”
e.) “Seldom Raised His Voice.”
f.) “Left Virtually No Legacy.”
g.) “Helped Make Spokane a Place to Live.”
h.) “Gone to the Lake.”
i.) “Courageously Ripped Co-workers Behind Their Backs.”
j.) “Ate It All.”
k.) “Never Paid Retail.”
l.) “Drove Like a Maniac.”
m.) “What’re You Lookin’ At?”
n.) “Acceptance, Forgiveness and Love.”
o.) “Looked Good in Her 20s.”
p.) “Shopped Downtown.”
q.) “Voted Against Mariners Stadium.”
r.) “Talked a Good Game.”
s.) “Believed Others Liked Her.”
t.) “Wrote Letters to the Editor.”
u.) “Wouldn’t Shut Up.”
v.) “Eat Your Eggs.”
w.) “Bet on Sports.”
x.) “Lacked Vision.”
y.) “Poet Who Had Ability to Make Any Bad Situation Worse.”
z.) “Little Kids Liked Him.”
* Maybe STA could borrow a slogan from that one bus-themed episode of “The Simpsons”: “Safe, reliable transportation for the poor and very poor alike.”
* When The Slice sponsors a Spokane dog show and competition: These will be the canine categories.
RV dogs group.
Ground dogs group.
Nonstop barkers group.
The sleeping group.
Shedders group.
Bed dogs group.
Boat dogs group.
Extra-furry group.
Dogs with loser owners group.
Farm dogs group.
Toddler herders group.
Extremely mixed breed group.
* Slice answers: Several readers said that if they were made Lord High Executioner, those who spit on sidewalks would have reason to fear.
* Today’s Slice question: What do you do when you’re on the phone and someone there in the room with you starts talking, telling you things to say to the person on the other end?