Hopefully, Tracks Don’T Lead To A Tree

It’s no laughing matter.

But one of the interesting things about heading out on a winter morning is seeing where the previous night’s drunk drivers had ridiculously misjudged corners and left tire tracks in the snow across lawns.

* In the matter of Spokane residents having dental work performed while on vacation in Mexico: “I had two crowns done for what it would have cost to have one done here,” wrote Margaret Cummings.

* Plan ahead: Cable’s TCM channel will offer a staggering lineup of Oscar-winning movies in March.

Have a few tapes ready.

Or if you are one of those who doesn’t watch TV, this might be a good excuse to work that fact into conversation. Chances are, you haven’t mentioned it in several hours.

* Steak-cooking instructions that don’t really help the waiter or chef:

1. “Kind of rare.”

2. “Done enough.”

3. “Well done. But not too much.”

4. “Sort of burned on the outside.”

* Today’s jargon tip for those who have no desire to speak plainly: “Head-shunt.”

Unlike a headhunter, this person is charged with getting rid of someone.

* Marketing in real life: One of our favorite Spokane drug stores recently had jugs of wine on display not far from the makeup and condoms.

* Hot and cold: He probably doesn’t do it often. But a friend who grew up in Arizona and Alberta could play the one-upmanship game in any weather-woes conversation. Well, except for ones focusing on humidity, hurricanes or tornadoes.

* All-ages fogyism exercise: Complete the following sentence in an absurdly cranky way.

“Why, back in my day …”

* Slice answers: Several readers said Beth Moore is the area’s best amateur tour-guide. “She is extremely knowledgeable,” said Judy Ruddach.

If Mary McDonnell of Chewelah were named Lord High Executioner, irresponsible pet owners would have cause to worry.

And Colville’s Arne Dahlen suspects there are space aliens in our midst because of the mysterious way the car keys keep getting moved.

* Warm-up question: Ever notice how some of the people who clamor for greater racial diversity in Spokane habitually ridicule those parts of the country that actually offer just such a demographic blend?

* Today’s Slice question: When playing cowboys and Indians as a kid, which role did you prefer?