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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Another Giant Leap For Mankind

Some predictions from Woody Paige of the Denver Post:

“The 2084 Summer Olympics will be held on the moon. A young man from Latvia will break the long jump record - with a leap of 2.3 miles.

“The Super Bowl will be played in Monte Carlo in 2033. Tickets will cost $87,000. Jacksonville will lose.

“In 2092 Colorado will beat Notre Dame, just off probation, for the national title in the WWW.Yahoo/UPS/FloridaOrangeGrowersAssociation/Microhard.com Bowl.

Dull Dallas

Before the Dallas Cowboys were eliminated from the NFL playoffs by the Vikings, Fran Blinebury of the Houston Chronicle wrote:

“The NFL’s Year of Mediocrity deserves a mediocre champion, and the Cowboys wear that label as easily as a custom-made hat. They are a 10-gallon Stetson of average.

“ … If they were a feature film, the Cowboys would be `Ordinary People.’ If they searched for their proper place to tie up their horses, it would be the OK Corral.”

Shrine of the times

In preparation for the East-West Shrine Bowl at Stanford, players underwent some psychological testing.

Michigan quarterback Tom Brady said one of his favorite questions was: “If you found a wallet filled with money, would you return it?”

“Well, I guess it pretty much depends on how hurting you are for money that day,” he said with a laugh.

The last word …

“Evidently, baseball believes the Dodgers didn’t know Adrian Beltre was underage when he signed. In legal terms, this is known as `the Woody Allen defense.’ ” - Gary Shelton in the St. Petersburg Times