Early Loons Always Get Earthworm

Fri., Jan. 21, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

“Tremors” isn’t really about life in the Inland Northwest.

But it’s got to be a cult favorite around here.

The light-hearted 1990 movie — on the USA network tonight and Saturday afternoon — features a scene depicting what must be the ultimate fantasy for gun nuts.

In it, Reba McEntire and Michael Gross play a rural Western couple who employ an incredible arsenal to defend their home from an invader. And you just know certain heavily armed Spokane area viewers watch that and pray that some day a malevolent giant earthworm will try to bully its way into their basement rec rooms.

* Slice answer: Peggy Ackerman counted. And she’s got 256 pairs of shoes. “I’m out of control and I know it,” said the Spokane receptionist.

* Just wondering: When was the last time you had a Red Delicious apple that didn’t disappoint? Have you tried a Pink Lady?

* Rodent report: “My parents live in Western Washington,” wrote Becky Martinez. “I had told stories of Spokane marmots and afternoons spent feeding them at Riverfront Park. So on their next visit they asked to see them.

“Well, we arrived at the proper marmot hang-out only to find scores of rats sunning themselves on the rocks previously inhabited by our dear marmots. So, yes, I do think there must be a media cover-up going on.”

* The book everyone around here should read: It’s Tom Brokaw’s “The Greatest Generation,” said baby-boomer Margaret Evans.

* Inadequately evolved department heads: We heard it suggested that a Darwinian view of Spokane-area managerial talent holds that most good bosses take jobs in larger cities, leaving us with a concentration of workplace supervisors who tend to be vision-impaired micromanagers.

* Monetary policy: Kyle Hogan, 7, had his eye on a certain toy. So he told his grandmother he needed three dollars, “With tens on them.”

* Here’s how Rita Horner describes herself to people she’ll be meeting: “I tell them I will wear a black beret,” she said. “They always find me.”

* Farewell, Springfield: Several readers said that if Homer Simpson moved his family to the Spokane Valley, he’d wind up working for Kaiser.

* Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest household has the most terrifying lineup of snorers?

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