Call Him ‘Hunk’

Mon., Jan. 31, 2000

Bytorey Sinkola Lewis

On the eve of Dec. 25, there sat a very nervous hunk of cheese in the refrigerator. His name was Hunk O’Cheese. Hunk O’Cheese was always whining because he would always find himself being yanked out of the refrigerator, slammed down onto a cutting board, getting a chunk taken off his hunk. All the other foods in the refrigerator didn’t seem to mind this cruel and unusual torture around this time, and Hunk O’Cheese couldn’t seem to find out why. He didn’t like it one bit because his buddies would sometimes be yanked out of the fridge, and never come back. Now it was about the time of the year when everybody stuffs himself or herself after ripping open a bunch of shiny boxes. Hunk O’Cheese knew his time was coming, and he started to get kind of soggy.

Suddenly, the big door opened, and the light came on. A long, hairy arm reached in and snatched him from his shelf. He screamed as he was lifted high into the air, and slammed onto the cutting board. To his horror, there was a large, incredibly sharp knife lying next to him. The hand came down, picked up the knife and began the slicing and dicing. When the madness was over, he found himself on a huge platter, in many pieces, with all of his lost friends. He knew this was the end, and was so depressed he couldn’t manage to scrounge up the energy to collect his severed limbs and escape. As he was put on the large dinner table, he looked at the many faces that surrounded him with their hungry eyes. But as he was looking at them, he realized why all of his buddies enjoyed going out of the fridge, it was because they know the importance of Christmas is to make people happy. And that Hunk O’Cheese and his friends did, even though they had to leave the calm and comfort of their refrigerator.

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