Why ‘Socal’ Is So Very Beneath Us

Certain trends should be resisted.

For instance, you might have heard of the practice of referring to the bottom half of California as “SoCal.”

Well, fine. But let’s not encourage anyone to say “EaWash” or “NorId.”

* Hemingway is still dead: Spokane’s Darrell Libby has come up with a localized version of that annual event in Spain where a mob of idiots tries to stay ahead of rampaging bulls. His idea for the Lilac City? Get ready. It’s “The Running of the Marmots.”

That’s right. “Rodeo clowns could break up packs of the buggers that swarm the downed runners.”

* Slice answers: We received a signed confession. Coeur d’Alene’s Mildred Solomon said she is the person in her family who most often calls various grandsons and others by the wrong names.

And Rebecca Dalla-Sweatt said her absent-minded professor father, Ron Dalla, is the king of confusion in their family. She wrote: “I am usually my brother or one of the family pets, usually our dog Brandy.”

* Stick to the running game: Cal Brown gets a kick out of the “Do Not Pass” highway sign near a football field on the outskirts of Chewelah, Wash.

* A new you: Ever find yourself thinking that you wouldn’t mind having a different image at your workplace? Sure. But how?

Easy. Here are a few impression-making behaviors you can subtly slip into your personality stylings.

1. Slug anyone uttering a catch-phrase from a movie or TV show.

2. Use Ralph Kramden gestures.

3. Pretend you are Frank Sinatra. Call supervisors “Baby.”

4. Smugly affect a passion about obscure music or angry poetry.

5. One word: harmonica.

6. Ask people if they grew up in a family of yellers or amid icy despair.

7. Keep some things to yourself.

8. Change your hair, look pensive.

9. Croquet mallet, X-ray glasses.

10. Random Three Stooges sounds.

* Keeping tabs: Hawaii, Wyoming and Nevada were the only state license plates Louise Everett’s family failed to spot on a recent road trip to the East Coast.

* Dance fever: Short of engaging in some ridiculous rumba steps, it is impossible for walkers at Riverfront Park to stay out of the bike paths.

* Warm-up questions: Ever known anyone who actually had amnesia? When did you outgrow foul language? Ever met The Abominable Housecat? Who was the most annoying kid character on TV?

* Today’s Slice question: Do you tend to resent people from around here who become semi-famous?