History Buffs Should Explore These Choices
Here’s one for all the history majors and others with plenty of time on their hands.
Multiple choice: If, almost 200 years ago, explorers Lewis and Clark had worn T-shirts during their journey, what would have been printed on those shirts?
a) “I’m With Stupid.”
b) “Grizzlies.”
c) “Do Me.”
d) “Willie Nelson Tour, 1803.”
e) “Missouri Breaks Fun Run.”
f) “Question Authority.”
g) “Big Sky Conference Champs.”
h) “Bull Shirt.”
i) “If Sacajawea Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy.”
j) “I’ve Fallen And Can’t Reach My Beer.”
k) “I Went All The Way To The Pacific Ocean And All I Got Was This Stupid Shirt.”
l) “Guns Don’t Kill People — Mountain Lions Do.”
m) other.
* Signs that Reality Doesn’t Stand a Chance Department: In anticipation of Father’s Day, a bourbon maker commissioned a survey in which respondents were asked to name the individual who best personifies the image of the “genuine man.”
The winner? John Wayne.
* Just wondering: Does the person first to arrive at your office in the morning ever miss an opportunity to allude to that?
* Living in denial: Using the phrase “Back East” as a synonym for Sodom and Gomorrah implies there aren’t plenty of liars and skunks right here.
* Which best describes your attitude about having your birthday noted at your workplace:
a) “It’s neat. I enjoy being the center of attention.”
b) “I hate it. What hallucinogen did people take to produce this insane idea that co-workers are automatically friends?”
c) “The people with whom I work don’t need a special occasion to ask questions about things that are none of their business.”
d) “Three words: Store-bought cake.”
e) “At my business, where merit is just a slogan, we already have ample evidence that rewards and recognition are for the chosen few happy face butt-kissers.”
f) “Yeah, right. Like I really want to be reminded that I’m another year older and still working at this soul-deadening place.”
g) “Rather have a kidney stone.”
* Solve a mystery: Sue Lani Madsen wonders what became of the sea serpent that used to reside in Blue Heron Pond on the east side of Salnave Road north of I-90. “I miss my familiar landmark,” she wrote.
* Today’s Slice question: Gas grill or coals?