You’D Do Better To Join Real World Turn It Off Reality Programming Isn’T Real, It’S Drivel.

MTV’s “The Real World” has as much to do with real life as Milli Vanilli did with real music.

In the real world, strangers are not taken to an interesting city, provided with food, money and a house, then told to act natural while cinematographers film every moment.

Not that there’s anything wrong with it - unless you think it offers some insight into the human condition. It’s entertainment! A TV show! Nothing more.

“COPS”? “World’s Wildest Police Chases”? At least they’re about real people, not coddled brats whining about life.

Let’s not pretend watching TV is a noble, self-enriching exercise. We should accept it for what it is.

What it is, mostly, is drivel.

ABC’s “Do You Want to Be a Millionaire?” won four of the top five spots in the current Nielsen ratings.

“Now listen closely, Bob; for $25,000, Walt Disney is most closely associated with: 1, Monica Lewinsky; 2, oatmeal; 3, the Victoria’s Secret models; 4, Micky Mouse.”

No. 6 was CBS’s “Survivor.” Now there’s a concept: Sixteen strangers marooned on a desert island, ejected one by one by their fellow victims. A peek at Wednesday night’s show revealed a narrator-emcee telling the would-be survivors to respect the native culture. If they didn’t, something bad might happen. Low-angle lighting made the cast look like they were suspended over the gates of hell. Drums throbbed in the background.

Drivel.

All of the popular media, including newspapers, are lopsidedly aimed at entertainment. But television, including the “reality” shows that put people in artificially stressful situations so we can enjoy their discomfort, offers little else.

It is drivel, and we love it. We love game shows, talk shows, infomercials, wrestling, sports, reruns, news, weather, police chases, MTV, world’s strongest man, toughman, and the soaps.

Upscale channels feature endless footage of World War II. The Learning Channel devotes hours to bloody emergency rooms and shows in which tiny cameras are inserted into bodily orifices so we can actually see how babies are made. (So that’s how it works!)

Oddly, more insight into the human condition is found in animated series such as “The Simpsons,” “King of the Hill,” and “The PJs.” Lisa Simpson, a cartoon character, is more endearing than most characters played by human beings. Lisa, by the way, says she watches TV only for “The MacNeil-Lehrer Report.”