Litter Will Be History … When Pigs Fly
It’s sad to be reminded that one of the best things about snow is that it covers up litter.
But then it’s gone and we see evidence that many brainless, trash-tossing pigs live in our midst.
Sigh.
* Too late: Marilyn Othmer said she could have used The Slice’s advice about making sure facial tissues don’t wind up in the wash a few decades ago. But, as it happens, she has had tissue disasters in the laundry so many times over the years that it has become one of her husband’s running sources of humorous commentary.
* Reader challenge: Name a uniquely Inland Northwest moment that must be experienced firsthand to be understood.
* Rejected STA slogans:
“Come Hear the Social Music.”
“Get Outta That Gas Hog of Yours.”
“Smell Spokane Up Close.”
“Eye Contact Happens.”
“Maybe You’re the Strange One.”
“Socialized Transportation.”
“Most Days, It’s Perfectly Fine.”
* Last-name basis: Everyone knows this is the era of informality.
And we’re all painfully aware of how more than a few members of certain generations are terrified of maturing.
But, speaking personally, we sort of get a kick out of it when little kids we’re meeting for the first time address us as “Mister.”
* “Shane” in everyday life: Sometime today, see if you can find an occasion to say, “You’re a low-down Yankee liar.”
(The movie is on AMC Saturday.)
* Party-tape update: We’re still compiling our collection of hilariously hostile anonymous messages left on The Slice’s phonemail. We’re thinking of calling it “Telephone Tough Guys, Potty Mouths and Passive Aggressives.”
Keep an eye on this column for details about how you can get your own copy. You’ll love it.
* Slice answer: Gregory Stermer thinks the Spokane version of that one TV show would be “Who Wants to Marry a Mullet.”
(A mullet is, among other things, a bi-level haircut short on the top and sides but long down the neck. A person sporting such a style can be said to be a Mullethead. Think Joey Buttafuoco.)
* Today’s Slice questions: Which Inland Northwest women carry purses that could be considered any-situation survival kits? How much do these purses weigh when fully loaded?