Watch Out For The Killer Z’S

Texas Rangers relief pitcher Jeff Zimmerman was intrigued by the loss of three teammates in winter transactions:

Gregg Zaun was traded to the Detroit Tigers, Todd Zeile signed as a free agent with the New York Mets, and Mike Zywica was taken off the major league roster.

“It was a conspiracy,” Zimmerman told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. “They thought the Zs had become too powerful, and they had to break it up.”

Ultimate insult

Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle: “I’m still not able to confirm the rumor that figure skater Tonya Harding tossed that hubcap at her boyfriend because he told her, `You skate like Marty McSorley.”’

Talkin’ trash, really

Temple coach John Chaney has added another reason why he thinks the NCAA is an out-of-contol monster.

Chaney suspended starting center Kevin Lyde because of allegations that Lyde’s AAU coach paid for a summer course when Lyde was a 17-year-old high school student in 1997.

“You want my honest-to-God words?” Chaney said. “I don’t think you want to hear me. You guys have heard me storm out before.

“If there was a book that had every profane word you could think of, I would put them in a couple of - you would need more than one - trash cans and heave them onto the NCAA.

“It is truly unbelievable. Why don’t they go back to the crib. Why don’t they go back and see if the kid changed his diapers in the crib? I don’t understand it. I’ve never heard of this rule.”

Got ya covered

An NBA plan to experiment with TV cameras in the locker rooms of selected teams at halftime is not going over well with Toronto Raptors forward Antonio Davis.

“What if I decide to scratch my butt?” he said. “It’s like that eye is always watching you. It’s bad enough the league controls our conduct and emotion on the court. Now we can’t be ourselves in the locker room. I’d be shocked if this goes over well.”

The idea is part of the league’s plan to rekindle interest in the game and rebuild sagging television ratings.

The last word …

“Sparky’s the only guy I know who has written more books than he has read.”

- Hall of Fame broadcaster Ernie Harwell on Sparky Anderson’s autobiography, “They Call Me Sparky,” his third book.