Now We Know Who Didn’T Make Us Do It

Sat., March 25, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

One explanation for this area’s ho-hum economic performance might be that people around here simply refuse to make deals with the Devil.

* After the hamburgers: Last summer, when he was 2, Krista Poffenroth’s son Nathan put the TV remote control on the barbecue grill while the coals were still hot.

But the unit must have been extremely rare when discovered. Because, though warped, it still worked.

* Seattle joke (passed along by Mary Lines, Tom Ross, Kyle Ruffell and others):

Question: Why doesn’t Spokane have a professional football team?

Answer: Because then Seattle would want one.

* The farthest from Metaline that someone has been who was on the list of persons receiving newspaper clippings from Lulu Stuver: Oman.

* Slice answer: Anne-Marie Pfeffer suggested “My Bloomsday Beloved” and “Love In the Lilacs” as titles for a set-in-Spokane romance novel.

* Dealing with the public is such a treat: A friend who is a cashier in downtown Spokane had been dealing with a street person. The poor soul obviously had horrible personal hygiene and was practically giving off fumes. And the smell lingered.

A moment after the street person had left, a guy wearing a tie walked up with a few items to purchase. This new customer sniffed, scrunched up his face and disdainfully told our friend he needed to take a shower.

* As seen on TV: Have you caught that commercial for the self-sealing tires in which the parallel-parking minivan backs over the upright nails in a board without experiencing a flat? Well, what’s with the little twerps in soccer uniforms standing by the curb watching this happen. Are we to think that they placed the nails there? Are we supposed to think that’s funny?

And if those kids didn’t put the nails there, why aren’t they shouting to the driver to stop?

The little kids of America ought to file a class action defamation of character suit against the creators of that commercial.

* Team-building 2000: The reason rumors and gossip will always be a part of many workplaces is that some managers get off on keeping all kinds of business info to themselves.

* Family Phrases Department: “For 16 years our family has been eating `bundos’ (bananas), reading `distructions’ (instructions), and seeing the `moonball’ once a month (full moon),” wrote Noreen Olson.

* Today’s Slice question: What local man has the hairiest back?

Local journalism is essential.

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