Cheap Seats

Tua eats a little crow David Tua, who fought champion Lennox Lewis Saturday night in Las Vegas for the WBC and IBF heavyweight titles, has told the British tabloid, the Sun, “My ancestors were cannibals. I can already taste Lennox.”

Tua is a Samoan who lives in New Zealand.

Said Ron Borges of the Boston Globe, “His ancestors, so the story goes, were Polynesian fighters who dined upon a visiting missionary or two in their heyday before finally succumbing to their preachings and becoming deeply religious.”

Lewis, however, is nearly 10 inches taller than Tua and has such a reach advantage, says Borges, that for Tua “to do any dining at ringside, he’ll have to be ordering from room service.”

True enough - Tua lost a lopsided decision to Lewis.

The Mattress Police really do exist

UNLV junior forward Chris Richardson could miss the season after an NCAA ruling that he misled investigators about the purchase of a used mattress set.

Richardson, who scored 16 points this week in UNLV’s first exhibition game, will not be eligible to play until his case is appealed, school officials said Thursday.

The NCAA sent UNLV a letter saying the Committee on Infractions found that Richardson violated NCAA regulations when questioned about the mattress set during an investigation of alleged violations by UNLV.

When questioned in January, Richardson said his mother paid a coach for the mattress when previously he said he didn’t know where he got the bed.

One foot in front of the other

Sandy Baldwin, a leading candidate to become chairman of the U.S. Olympic Committee: “The USOC isn’t like a thoroughbred racehorse, it’s like a camel. And our job is to groom it and make sure it doesn’t sprout a third hump.

“If you can keep it meandering forward slowly, you’ve done a great job.”

That third hump wouldn’t be related to steroid use, would it?

Don’t call him Napoleon

Bill Conlin of the Philadelphia Daily News, writing on Larry Bowa, the new manager of the Phillies: “As a player, Bowa was a Hall of Fame needler and bench jockey.

“He would target guys who responded to his barbs, and once they showed a trace of red butt, he would never let them up. Steve Carlton would routinely threaten to kill Bowa if he didn’t shut up, a threat that usually worked.

“Victims got back by calling him `Pee Wee,’ a nickname Bowa detested.”

The last word …

“I feel a little like the dog who just caught the car.”

- Pete Rummell co-chairman of the Jacksonville host committee after the city was awarded the 2005 Super Bowl.