New Territory Planning Can Help Keep The Peace When Introducing Pets To New Family Situation

The tale of combining two households of pets under a single roof can read like a bad advice column. In an unfortunate twist of fate, a formerly pampered kitten winds up dangling from the draperies as her new canine housemate hurls himself in her direction.

Pets often struggle when faced with a houseful of unfamiliar humans. Furry interlopers that refuse to keep their noses to themselves make matters worse. After all, how can a pet put its best paw forward when a strange animal is eating out of its dish?

It’s not just new marriages that create blended pet families. Spokane’s Lisa Johnson and her orange tabby, Pharaoh, temporarily moved in with her parents and their snowshoe Siamese cat, Scruffy. Both cats are 5-year-old males, which led to some bitter feelings.

“Both cats had been only cats forever. They hissed and smacked at each other, then avoided each other. For the most part, my cat won,” Johnson says.

After things settled down a bit, Johnson added another pet to the equation: a 9-pound Chihuahua-mix named Keebler. The cats were none too thrilled with their hyperactive bunkmate.

“They instantly hated the dog because the dog was a puppy and wanted to play. My parents’ cat would just hunker down and wouldn’t move,” recalls Johnson.

Fortunately, the pets adjusted, and within several weeks things settled down. While Scruffy is gracious about sharing his living space, he still refuses to socialize with his new four-legged family.

Elizabeth Manion of Parkside Counseling says pet ownership can lead to conflict because people view their animals as family. “It really can make or break a relationship, especially if you have several dogs that don’t get along.

“For some people the pets are like their child, so it can create the same kind of issues as blending children,” says Manion.

Sometimes one spouse will accuse the other of pet favoritism. People don’t take it well when their significant other tries to banish their beloved house pet to the great outdoors.

Couples should make a huge effort to work out pet issues when children are involved. The loss of a pet is particularly devastating to children adjusting to a newly combined family, says Manion.

Cindy Carter, associate pastor and counselor at Shadle Park and Manito Presbyterian churches, says just as people more readily accept a spouse’s or loved one’s well-behaved child, they also relish pets that stay off furniture and mind their manners.

“Pets are a little bit different because they don’t talk back. A pet that’s well-behaved should mind anybody,” says Carter.

But because pets can’t complain as children do, they may protest their new living arrangement by using a bedroom closet for a litter box or sharpening their claws on a new partner’s prized grandfather clock, says Diane Rasmussen of Spokane Humane Society.

Every month the shelter takes in several pets that didn’t adapt well to their blended family.

“Often people don’t even realize why their pet’s behavior is changing,” says Rasmussen. Often animals act out because they’re afraid. Problems with maladjusted pets going on cranky rampages can be minimized with planning, says Catherine Ulibarri, neuroscientist and expert on animal behavior at the Washington State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital.

Gradual transitions work best because animals don’t do well with abrupt change, says Ulibarri.

“When you disturb the pack by adding or subtracting someone, that’s going to upset the dog,” she says.

If pets haven’t been raised around children, a houseful of active, screaming youngsters will terrify them. So, in the weeks leading up to combining households, greet the pet by shouting “Doggie!” or “Kitty!” Grab a piece of the animal’s skin and wiggle it.

Gently pull the pet’s fur and make exaggerated gestures and loud noises. Basically do any foolish thing a young child would, without hurting the pet, and generously reward its patience, suggests Ulibarri.

Prepare pets for food-dish invasions by putting tiny bits of food in their dishes and pouring in more food as the pets eat. After several days, take bowls away in midmeal, drop in treats and set them back down. Reach into your pets’ dishes as they eat and reward them for a good attitude.

Don’t overcoddle pets before the transition. Limit pre-move attention to no more than 10 minutes of quality time per hour. Otherwise animals will feel neglected when they suddenly take a back seat to more pressing responsibilities, says Ulibarri.

When introducing one dog to another, choose neutral locations. Go for outings to the park. After the introductions, shower both pets with praise and treats. The more exposure dogs have to future family members, the better.

Combining cats under one roof takes several days, says Ulibarri. Set each cat up in a separate room with its own litter box and water and food dishes.

Each day wipe the cats down with the same towel. This will transfer scent from one cat to another.

After several days have passed, feed the cats a huge meal and let them roam.

“Usually cats are pretty accepting at that point,” says Ulibarri.

Cat and dog combinations do best when each animal has its own small territory in the combined home. A baby gate allows a cat free access and keeps dogs out of her space. As animals become more accepting of each other, areas can be expanded, says Ulibarri.

Forget about forging friendships between Murry the parrot and an unfamiliar cat or dog.

“They view small animals as some sort of animated toy,” says Ulibarri.

She stresses that birds need safe, separate accommodations that still allow them frequent contact with humans.

If pet problems emerge, ask a veterinarian for advice and the name of a good animal behaviorist. A few consultations with a doggie shrink can help iron out the people problems that are causing the animal trouble.