Flowers Never Looked Uglier

Fri., Sept. 1, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Marcie Jo Lund bought a house.

But it didn’t have a proper yard. So she hired some landscapers.

Somehow it came up that the landscapers were big Husky fans. And Lund, a diehard Coug, let them know what she thought of that.

“Well, to make a long story short, I came home to purple and yellow mums all over my yard,” said Lund.

The simulated University of Washington colors had been added to her grounds at no extra charge.

“They said they had thought about putting them in the shape of a `W’. But personally, I don’t think Huskies can even spell `W.’ ”

* By the numbers: Even the biggest booster might acknowledge that this area can’t really be described as offering infinite human-interaction possibilities. Spokane isn’t that big.

But that invites a question. Just how many possibilities does Spokane offer?

The Slice did the math. It’s 92,707.

* Says here: Local-route commercial truck drivers are some of the friendliest men and women in this area. They know how to do the wave.

* Complete this sentence: You had a good summer if…

* Slice stat: “Get a room” teenage couples fond of groping in school hallways seldom stay together long.

* Advice from Olympia: “When you see other drivers around you acting or reacting in anger, distance yourself from the situation, physically and mentally. Don’t make eye contact.”

— Department of Licensing pamphlet

* Say it, don’t spray it: If you’d rather not utter the phrase “Pig Out in the Park” or even “Pig Out,” there’s always the lyrical acronym, “POITP.”

* West Side Story: For the record…Being told they have to replace their green-on-white license plates with the Mt. Rainier tags doesn’t sit well with some in Eastern Washington.

* On the other hand: If it weren’t for the Seattle area, the Evergreen State would probably have more elected officials like the ones they choose in Idaho. Ahem. So we just have to take the bad with the good.

* Rules of engagement: A friend who works at a store in downtown Spokane was given a plastic ring by an 8-year-old boy who’s sweet on her. The lad declared that he would be back in a few years to marry her.

Sure, he says that now. But wait till he checks out this year’s crop of third-grade babes.

* Today’s Slice question: If you had a do-over on high school, what would you change about your approach?

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