Another Business Not To Like

Maybe this isn’t true.

But it seems that just about everybody in the Inland Northwest has a personal policy about never setting foot in at least one business establishment. Reasons vary.

But we’re wondering. What’s the target of your boycott?

* Multiple choice: When you get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water, you typically find yourself thinking about …

a.) the 763 things you’d have to do before you could try to sell your house.

b.) what would it be like to not have clogged sinuses for one day?

c.) things you need to accomplish in the coming workday.

d.) your daughter’s anxieties about school.

e.) Sela Ward.

f.) your checking account balance.

g.) your dad’s health.

h.) why it is that you keep having dreams about B-52s.

i.) the number of football players from your alma mater now on NFL rosters.

j.) changes in your hairline since you went to bed.

k.) a Buffalo Springfield song.

L.) cheeseburgers.

m.) how you really like the T-shirt you’re wearing.

n.) a conversation you had at work.

o.) that there’s no sports equipment quite so cool as hockey gloves.

p.) is that the sound of oil dripping from your car?

q.) how maybe that woman at church didn’t understand that you were just trying to be helpful when you suggested she experiment with outfits that aren’t quite so snug.

r.) how your backside looked and felt when you were 21.

s.) the novel you’re reading.

t.) have you paid the Visa bill?

u.) why you even considered using the word “insouciant” in that meeting.

v.) what those comic books would be worth now if your mom hadn’t tossed them.

w.) how this would not be a good week to have a back spasm and is that the start of one of those lip-disfiguring cold sores?

x.) something you should have said in response to an insult 15 years ago.

y.) the vet’s bill for removing those quills from your dog’s snout.

z.) did I take my bedtime pills?

* Today’s Slice question: If you formed your own political party, what would you call it?

(We knew a guy in school who ran on the Party Party ticket.)