Tired? Let Us Offer An Explanation

Tue., Sept. 12, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Here are 10 paths to exhaustion.

(Don’t let this be you.)

1. Checking your e-mail every five minutes even though you receive only six or seven messages a week.

2. Being in your 50s and trying to make sure through colorful shirts and other props that everyone knows you are hip, independent and no toady for the man.

3. Being from somewhere your co-workers don’t regard as a sufficiently fashionable part of the country.

4. Riding in a car pool with someone who apparently thinks he or she is the only person who ever drank a beer in college.

5. Your boss’ spouse thinking she/he is your co-boss.

6. Having airheaded parents who think being way popular in high school is like really, really important.

7. Sitting near someone who responds to every little computer problem with volcanic rage.

8. Living with someone who thinks you exist to pick up the dry cleaning.

9. Having a stupid name.

10. Believing that you always have to answer the phone.

* It’s great that business executives have taken to apologizing to customers when appropriate: Now if only they actually meant it.

* Ever noticed: How some people who belong to Religion A recognize that there is a fair amount of diversity of beliefs and attitudes within that faith. But when it comes to consideration of Religion B, they automatically assume that everyone under that spiritual umbrella thinks and acts exactly alike?

* A reader named Kathy suggested a variation on the billboards promoting radio personality Rick Miller: “Hate him. Hate him. Ignore him.”

* True or false: Someone today employing tactics popular with some high school football coaches 30 or 40 years ago would wind up in jail.

* Just wondering: Who around here has attended the most retirement ceremonies for other people?

* It’s not what you know: It’s who you can stand.

* True fact: Some of the people who wind up helping you when you really need it don’t look at all like folks you would have chosen to hang out with.

* Is it just us: Or do pictures of comedians making wacky faces in print nightclub advertisements make you a little sad, too?

* Today’s Slice question: A Shakespearean play based on life in Spokane would be called what?

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