It’S Ok To Offend Strangers

Sat., Sept. 23, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

There’s an upside to contemporary alienation.

Competing campaign signs in front yards aren’t apt to create serious neighborhood tensions in places where people don’t even know the folks next door.

* The source of colonists: You know someone is a “Star Trek” fan when you hear her refer to California as the “North Idaho home world.”

* Newcomer’s observation: “Calling an area what it’s not (ie: Inland = Not the Ocean?) continues to strike me as odd.” — Kelly Anderson

* Kaitlyn Poll: What signs do you look for as indications of what kind of winter we’re going to have?

Readers named Caitlin (any spelling) may respond.

* Breaking it in: Back in 1976, Ray Chapman bought a new Toyota in Honolulu. He was ready to drive off the lot and he put the shifter in what he thought was reverse. Unfortunately, it was actually in a forward gear. “He drove right through the big showroom window,” wrote Pauli Chapman.

And Claudia Childress remembers the day after she bought a new car in South Carolina back in 1969. She ran over a tricycle and a chicken.

* The Slice answers your questions:

1. Yes, someone has e-mailed us that audio rant where the guy loses it while calling a computer Help Desk.

2. Yes, we know who Elsa Benitez is.

3. No, The Slice has no plans to incorporate a regular scratch-and-sniff feature.

* Recipe subs: David Stark used stuffing mix instead of crackers and the meatloaf turned out great.

Donna from Veradale was making French dressing when she realized she was out of oil. So she melted a cup of Crisco and used that. “Needless to say, I was embarrassed when the guests tried to pour the dressing and it had solidified.”

June Hildebrand didn’t have the spices to make apple cobbler so she tossed in two packets of spiced cider mix. It turned out just right.

And we heard about a Spokane woman who didn’t have crackers for her asparagus casserole. So, improvising, she poured in some Rice Krispies. It was a success.

* Warm-up questions: What local business or institution that requires visitors to wear a clip-on badge loses the most of these as people inadvertently walk off without turning them in? Do you avoid eating asparagus before social occasions and job interviews?

* Today’s Slice question: Who in the Inland Northwest gets asked “Where is the restroom?” most often?

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