Reunion Ready

START EARLY. That’s the No. 1 piece of advice for those planning a family reunion. So, procrastinators beware: A family reunion — a successful one, at least — takes time to pull off. Carol Schmidt started planning 18 months in advance for the Edna Bash, a family reunion celebrating her mother’s 80th birthday. The reunion, held at the end of June at Hill’s Resort at Priest Lake, Idaho, was a hit, Schmidt says.

“We just didn’t want a last-minute thing,” says Schmidt, who lives in Willow, Alaska. “People were coming from all directions.”

So, a year-and-a-half ahead of time, Schmidt and one of her sisters started brainstorming plans for the reunion. They sent out a survey to the adults in the family, asking them to pick a location for the event. Schmidt’s daughter, Audra Fritz, lives in Spokane and had been to Hill’s.

Ten months before the Edna Bash, Schmidt had reserved condos at Hill’s Resort. She started asking family members what they wanted to do during the two-day reunion and she later made arrangements for golfing, canoeing, biking and boat rentals.

The family decided to hold the birthday celebration at the Hill’s lodge, and Schmidt tasked other family members to be responsible for planning and cooking meals.

“I was really worried about it,” she says. “But it turned out so perfectly.”

Sure, there was a little luck involved. It didn’t rain. No fistfights broke out. But much of the Edna Bash’s success came down to planning, and lots of it.

“The most satisfying reunions are the ones that are the most-planned, the most-organized and the most-structured,” says Larry Basirico, professor of sociology at North Carolina’s Elon University and author of “The Family Reunion Survival Guide” (Identity Publishing, 2003, $11.95).

So, here are some steps from the pros that’ll lead you down the path of a happy family reunion. Maybe things will go so well your brood will decide to make it an annual tradition.

• Pick a date.

“Put out a feeler a year ahead,” says Donner Potter Phillips, a family historian in Spokane. “Everybody’s busy.”

Consider what your family likes to do to help you choose a time of year. If everybody prefers snow skiing over water skiing, then maybe a winter reunion is your best bet.

So, you finally get 98 people to agree on a date. Then, Aunt Ida calls and says her dog’s being groomed that day and she won’t be able to make it. Would you please, please reschedule, she asks.

Don’t even think about it, says Edith Wagner, editor of the Milwaukee-based Reunions Magazine. (The magazine’s Web site, www.reunionsmag.com, is filled with helpful reunion-planning tips, by the way.) With any large group, someone will always have a conflict.

“Once you pick a date, stick to it,” Wagner says.

And once the date’s on the calendar, be sure to send out save-the-date cards to the whole family.

• Choose a location.

Lola McCreary’s family has been holding reunions since the 1930s. They’ve met at parks and resorts. Next month, they’ll reunite in Fruitland, Idaho in an old schoolhouse that’s been converted into a community center. “The oldest generation can’t travel,” says McCreary, 68, who lives in Spokane. “We plan it as close to them as we can.”

In addition to travel concerns, take into account the size of your reunion and your family’s budget when selecting a site.

“For some families, doing a picnic on a Saturday afternoon is the best place to start,” Wagner says. Some families start out in a convention center … Any place that’s appropriate for a family vacation is appropriate for a family reunion.”

You may also want to think about locations that are meaningful to your family. Maybe you can still gather on the old homestead or at the campground your parents took you to as a child.

For decades, Jim McGree’s family has visited a lake in the summer. So, it was a good fit when the family opted to hold a reunion at Hill’s Resort on Priest Lake.

“It’s great to get back and connect again and be there and have nothing on the agenda other than waterskiing and planning to sit around and tell stories and catch up,” says McGree, who lives in Butte, Mont.

To keep family politics at a minimum, Basirico suggests holding the reunion on “neutral territory.” Avoid a family member’s house or even somebody’s hometown. Forcing everybody to travel even a small distance “creates a sense of interdependence,” he says.

• Get the word out.

Once you know the date and the place, it’s time to find ways to keep communication flowing with your family until the reunion.

“Frequent communication develops a sense of excitement, it develops a sense of commitment on the part of everybody,” Basirico says.

McCreary creates a reunion newsletter, compiling the year’s deaths, births, moves and “any little funny thing I can find,” she says.

“Some years it’s two or three pages. Some years it’s one page.”

Other organizers opt to send out frequent e-mails or launch a family Web site (or delegate one of the grandkids to do it.) For one reunion, one of the teens started a newsletter just for the kids, Wagner says.

• Don’t go it alone.

Planning a reunion is a big task. So delegate, delegate, delegate.

“I ended up doing a lot of it myself,” says Schmidt, who wishes she’d handed over more planning responsibilities. If she had it to do again, she says she would’ve created committees for food, recreation and other aspects of the reunion.

At McGree’s reunion, each family was responsible for one of the meals. They did all of the shopping and preparation and hosted the meal in their cabin.

Plus, spreading out the tasks can make the reunion happier for everyone, Wagner says.

“Lots of families have martyrs,” she says. “They will do it alone and they will make sure everybody knows they did it alone … Spread it out a little bit. There’s far more ownership and fare more commitment.”

• Come up with activities for all ages.

“The oldest generation needs comfortable folding chairs and shade and something to drink,” Wagner says. “Those aren’t the people you worry about getting bored.”

It’s the younger set that’s a bit more high-maintenance, however.

At Schmidt’s reunion, 10 of the 38 attendees were under 10 years old, she says. So, they made sure to have plenty of bubbles and sand toys on hand. One of Schmidt’s nieces brought along arts-and-crafts projects that kept the kids entertained for hours.

At McCreary’s reunions, the family loves the annual talent show. And they really get a kick out of Bingo. McCreary even made up Bingo cards with the family’s name, Evans, on top. Each family member brings a small prize for winners to choose from.

• Don’t forget that it’s a family reunion.

Be sure to pack plenty of photos and family mementoes so the group will have a launch pad for their reminiscing.

McCreary lost four family members this year, including her 20-year-old grandson, Robert Benson, who was killed in Iraq. Her family assembles a memorabilia table to honor those who have died.

“We have old violins and old quilts and picture albums,” she says.

Plus, McCreary has compiled a chart of the family’s genealogy. It fills 41 pages.

Other groups organize family trivia games or similar ice-breakers, Wagner says.

At Schmidt’s reunion, her mother brought along two huge scrapbooks. And Schmidt’s “computer-guru nephew” created a DVD with old photos set to music. Family members recorded their memories of Grandma Edna on the DVD.

“That was really the highlight of the evening,” Schmidt recalls.