Didn’t get his strokes

He was an average-looking guy with thick legs, sunglasses, khaki shorts and a white polo shirt.

He looked tense and lost in the bleachers of the main Olympic pool here, and Friday night before the competition began he got caught up in dispute with the security-conscious ushers.

They wanted to see his event credential. “I’m Mark Spitz,” he told them.

Whatever, the ushers said, his credential didn’t clear him to sit where he was trying to sit.

The man said they didn’t understand. “I’m Mark Spitz. I won seven gold medals. … I’m an honored guest.” He said he’d been told he could sit right here.

It was hard for the young Greek ushers in their colorful blue, white and orange outfits. One said later he had never heard of Mark Spitz.

Besides, this man didn’t look like the swashbuckling, mustached swimmer who won seven gold medals in 1972. He seemed more like a pushy American tourist.

But he was, in fact, Mark Spitz. And once this was established, he was shown his seat, and posed, smiling, for pictures with the ushers.

One, Manolis Psaroudakis, recognized Spitz’s name on his credential, and got a quick snapshot. “He’s a little older,” Psaroudakis said.

Major put-down

From Seth Soffian of the Fort Myers (Fla.) News-Press: “Did you hear the one about Tiger Woods? During (last week’s) PGA tournament, Amy Mickelson handed one of her children to him before she realized it wasn’t her husband, Phil.

” ‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘I’m still used to guys who can’t win majors.’ ”

Just another Joe

According to the Baltimore Sun, a security guard at M&T Bank Stadium welcomed Joe Theismann and the ESPN announcing crew to an NFL exhibition game by saying, “This way, Mr. Namath.”

Wrote Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “No word on whose neck subsequently snapped the most – Theismann’s or that woman walking beside him, colleague Suzy Kolber.”

Meanwhile, back in the salt mines

A new specialty magazine, “OverTime,” was created for professional athletes. The first hint of the targeted audience is an ad for an expensive Swiss-made watch. “Goes well with championship rings,” the ad claims.

Hazy on the details

Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, noting that Ricky Williams’ fondness for marijuana could work in the Miami Dolphins’ favor, wrote: “Eventually, he may forget he retired.”

Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle, on reports that Williams is already talking about making a comeback with the Oakland Raiders: “Frankly, I think he’s just blowing smoke.”