Need to find a roommate? Read this first

Looking for the perfect renter? Time for a reality check.

We were in the middle of interviewing a prospective housemate when she suddenly interrupted the routine small talk. She leaned in on the three of us, a challenging look on her face.

“What kind of hard drugs do you guys use?” she demanded. “And I don’t mean marijuana.”

We wrapped up the session ASAP, already envisioning our friendly home turning into a vile crack house. Sigh. Scratch another candidate off the list. Add one more anecdote to the pile of can-you-top- this? tales of roommate woe.

If you went to college, you’ve probably had to bunk with one or more people at some point. Sometimes the relationships are cozy and all is well. Often, however, calamity ensues when you seek to share shelter with strangers who are every bit as zealous about their living space as you.

Not long ago, one of our four housemates moved out. During the agonizing weeks it took to find a replacement, I learned a lot about picking a random roomie. For instance, it’s important to establish precise criteria and let go of expectations that you’ll find a new best friend or someone to date. Remember: The crucial thing is to find someone who can fit comfortably in your domain.

Most people on the hunt for housing tend to find it within a month, according to Nick Abramovich, chief operating officer for Roommateclick.com. He says that on average, someone offering a room receives 12 responses from a posting, but that can jump in cities with tight rental markets such as San Francisco and New York.

When posting online, it’s a good idea to ask candidates to bring a pay stub as well as a recent credit report, says Katharine Kamminga, president of RoommateLocator, a nationwide matching service. References are also important, preferably ones you can verify, such as from a current boss.

“Let’s just face it – you have to work hard at getting to know the person,” Kamminga said. “A roommate has access to you and your personal identification, so you need to verify who they are.”

Other hints I can offer from hard-won experience:

• Set firm guidelines on essentials such as age range, gender, job security, cleanliness and length of stay. Ask why they are leaving their current place and how often their significant other sleeps over. If more than one of the candidates satisfies the basics, then you can afford to get more choosey. For instance, does she/he prefer only certain types of music in the house?

• Keep a notebook of your search, because you never know how many people you’ll be checking out. Jot a basic description and facts for each. After all, the unmemorable ones may turn out to be the best candidates.

• It’s important to plan ahead so you don’t feel rushed and end up settling for anyone who can hand over a rent check. Most roommate- seekers start looking around the first of the month for the following month. It’s smart to post your online ad at the beginning of the month and re-post every week.

• Have a backup plan in case you don’t find someone by the third week, such as planning on everyone chipping in to cover the extra rent while the search continues. Don’t forget: Potential roommates also are looking at numerous places to live, so let them know you’re interested even if you’re still planning to talk to other candidates.

When our roomie gave notice, we thought the quickest and easiest way to find a replacement would be through an online ad. Although we considered posting a notice at the Laundromat and the nearby university, we thought the Web was the best way to reach the most people. It also gave us the option of screening e-mails and not worrying about the phone ringing constantly.

With a spacious four-bedroom house, striking views and an available parking space, it seemed like the process would be a snap. Instead, it turned into a time-consuming, nerve-racking challenge.

In the posting, we stated our preference for a female roommate in her 20s or 30s. With two guys and me, the goal was to maintain “gender balance,” although I was convinced the men were hoping for an attractive woman, or at least one with cute single friends.

Despite our early hopes that it would be simple to find Miss Right, the process was often as awkward as a bad first date – that was repeated 25 times. By the end of the month, we were desperate just to find a Miss Normal.

As the days went by, we realized we would have saved a lot of time if we simply had established our specific criteria ahead of time and did not hold such great expectations for the ideal candidate. Sometimes intuition is more valuable than any objective check list.

As the deadline approached, we were forced to lower our standards a bit. Apparently there were no young, normal single females who were seeking housing. Now we just wanted someone who would pay the rent, respect our lifestyles and not smoke crack in the living room.

Well, the rent gods took pity on us. With days to go, a candidate arrived who was sweet, thoughtful, had a steady job and no live-in boyfriend. She was so “normal” that we offered her the room on the spot. Thankfully, she accepted.

Now I am just hoping I don’t have a reason to move out any time soon. From what I’ve heard, the process can be just as daunting the other way around.