Soldiers’ families get helping hand

BOISE – As in many marriages, Jamie and Cheri split the chores. She’s got laundry and kitchen duty. He’s in charge of the lawn and outside chores.

But now with Jamie in Fort Bliss, Texas, with the 2,000 members of the Idaho National Guard readying to deploy to Iraq, Cheri has had to learn to do it all. And with a new baby as of June, a 2-year-old and a full-time job, there’s been a lot to manage in the past few months.

“It’s been a challenge trying to manage the household,” says Cheri, who did not want her last name used. “He did a lot at home.”

But Cheri doesn’t have to go it all alone.

When she needs help with everyday stuff or just a little emotional support, she turns to her family support group.

Each company of the Idaho National Guard has at least one corresponding family readiness group headed by volunteers, usually a spouse of a deployed Guard member. The groups, comprised mostly of wives of Guard members but with some siblings and parents too, help with tasks such as balancing checkbooks and figuring out insurance.

If a car breaks down or an air conditioner goes on the fritz, Guard families know all they have to do is call their family support group and help will be on its way.

Heather Smith leads the group that Cheri is in. She recently fielded a call from a woman who discovered it would cost thousands to fix her air conditioner. Smith got her in touch with an emergency relief program so she could afford the repairs.

Another member discovered she wasn’t strong enough to start her gas weed trimmer so Smith and the group helped her find one she could use.

Jim Skene, who is the state family coordinator for the Guard, says the family support group system is the military’s way of making sure problems get addressed quickly.

“They take care of each other,” says Skene, whose wife will be deployed in Texas. “They get really, really tight.”

Skene has adjusted to being the sole parent to his 12-year-old daughter. Because both he and his wife have experience with the military and living apart, the transition has not been that dramatic.

“It’s not like I’m not housebroke,” he says.

The support groups are not always about helping families in crisis or adjusting to new household duties. They are designed to give their members emotional support, too. In fact, much of what the groups have focused on in the past couple of months is getting families up to speed on what their Guard members actually do.

Then there is the business of learning military lingo. Smith, whose husband did not deploy due to health reasons, has got that down. She was in the Army about 12 years ago.

But for others, military stuff is pretty foreign. And some people just need to be around others in the same situation.

“It’s been helpful just to know other people are going through the same thing as I am,” Cheri says. “It’s nice to be able to keep busy. It keeps my mind off things so I don’t go crazy.”